When i last used this site almost 3 years ago now i was in what i thought was a great relationship. until he cheated on me. i forgave him like the fool that i am and we moved into a flat together. the the arguments kept getting worse. hed get into my face. then he started hitting me. i fell pregnant and it stopped he was lovelly for 2 weeks until he made me have an abortion. then the abuse got worse and worse. he raped me when i was taking my sleeping pills. then i fell pregnant again. i couldnt have an abortion again and i didnt want to be a single mum, so i stuck with it. each time we argued the abuser got worse. i finally got the courage to fight back when i was 5 months pregnant we had a massive fight and i ran away. i was in a hostel for mothers and children and i had my daughter and met a lovely guy who was with me for the birth and we worked really well together. he had a police record under his belt but he was honest with me (or so i thought) things got bad when he cheated on me with my best friend when i was in bed with my daughter in the other room. i caught them. we sorted things out. and then in arguments he started getting into my face. my family had to buy our food as all out money went on his drink and drug habbit. things went down hill. one time he wouldnt give me back my daughter so i had him arrested and dropped the charges. but it continued getting worse. not as bad as with my previous relationship but it was almost there. then social services got involved as they were worried about my daughter. so i had to do whats right. i ended it with him. and moved house. a week later he broke into my new house and it kicked off between us again and he punched me 2 feet away from my daughter. we had always kept it away from her. i was so angery he could do that when she was right there. so i had him arrested. i sent him to prision and got a restraining order for 2 years against him. and now im regretting it all. the court was 2 months ago and i hate myself for it. i miss him to the point im in tears most nights. i still love him even though i shouldnt. ive found out the mother of his child he was violent to aswell. i know hes not going to change but its like i cant be without him. why cant i move on. and why did i get into a relationship with an abuser again!