The reason i am back!

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by Izziebabystar, Nov 17, 2012.

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  1. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    When i last used this site almost 3 years ago now i was in what i thought was a great relationship. until he cheated on me. i forgave him like the fool that i am and we moved into a flat together. the the arguments kept getting worse. hed get into my face. then he started hitting me. i fell pregnant and it stopped he was lovelly for 2 weeks until he made me have an abortion. then the abuse got worse and worse. he raped me when i was taking my sleeping pills. then i fell pregnant again. i couldnt have an abortion again and i didnt want to be a single mum, so i stuck with it. each time we argued the abuser got worse. i finally got the courage to fight back when i was 5 months pregnant we had a massive fight and i ran away. i was in a hostel for mothers and children and i had my daughter and met a lovely guy who was with me for the birth and we worked really well together. he had a police record under his belt but he was honest with me (or so i thought) things got bad when he cheated on me with my best friend when i was in bed with my daughter in the other room. i caught them. we sorted things out. and then in arguments he started getting into my face. my family had to buy our food as all out money went on his drink and drug habbit. things went down hill. one time he wouldnt give me back my daughter so i had him arrested and dropped the charges. but it continued getting worse. not as bad as with my previous relationship but it was almost there. then social services got involved as they were worried about my daughter. so i had to do whats right. i ended it with him. and moved house. a week later he broke into my new house and it kicked off between us again and he punched me 2 feet away from my daughter. we had always kept it away from her. i was so angery he could do that when she was right there. so i had him arrested. i sent him to prision and got a restraining order for 2 years against him. and now im regretting it all. the court was 2 months ago and i hate myself for it. i miss him to the point im in tears most nights. i still love him even though i shouldnt. ive found out the mother of his child he was violent to aswell. i know hes not going to change but its like i cant be without him. why cant i move on. and why did i get into a relationship with an abuser again!
     
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    We never know how someone really is until it's too late.

    It's so sad to hear thing like this. It'd be better if you went back to the hostel, and see if you can get protection this time. It'll be hard because you will be without him, but your heart will mend. Take this time for yourself. It will be lonely, yes. But it will be worth it.
     
  3. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    i dont want to go back to the hostel i love being in my own home. my daughter loves her bedroom and i dont want to uprought her again its just not fair. its such a hard situation to be in. arrgggg, i hate myself for doing it to my daughter she doesnt know her biological dad but this other guy she loved to bits she calls him daddy and she still looks for him. what am i suposed to do
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    OH hun it is not uncommon that this happens that ones that have been abused seem to back to the abuser or other abusers. You have to break that connection ok One way is to go to a womens shelter there they will keep you and YOUR CHILD safe The will give you the skills to pass on to your daughter so she does not end up being abused. You need therapy hun councilling to help you break away ok. He is no good you know that anyone to do that in front of a child needs to be stayed locked away hugs to you hun
     
  5. Izziebabystar

    Izziebabystar Well-Known Member

    ive done the whole womens shelther thing and i hated it im so happy in my new home. and hes in jail for the moment i just need to work on getting myself better again so im strong for when he gets out. i just dont know how to di it
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu can get councilling without being in shelter hun you need therapy to teach you to stay clear of these people hun Don't subject yourself to that abuse anymore or your daughter
    She will learn through what she sees hun Teach her it is not acceptable to be abused ok hugs
     
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Remember you're keeping your daughter safe by keeping this man away from her.
     
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