The Reasons Being Varied

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by BelovedDreamer, Sep 16, 2008.

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  1. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    I was am and continue to be intoxicated-ish as I write and post this, so I'm sorry if it's too whacked. A may regret posting this in the morning.

    Again I find myself in the same position
    bent over backwards
    ass in the air
    reaching for numbness.
    Oh Blessed, boy!
    Come to me lovey.
    The drugs almost do it,
    they get close
    putting aside the metaphysical and literal itch
    and the crying jags
    and god baby I’m sensitive
    but maybe if you rub it harder
    it’ll rub the fuck off.
    maybe not maybe baby
    something or something FUCKED me in the head.
    And now I’m just a pile of shit
    a pile of beautiful shit
    who means well and might be a person
    or something really beautiful
    but just keeps breaking shit
    and maybe is just is
    secret sort of not good person inside.
    I feel dirty
    and roaringly sweetingly beautiful
    And I want someone to fuck this fucking tear this shit apart
    until it is raped
    until it is raped of feeling
    curtains/drapes torn down
    and the couch ripped to cat shreds
    And I want you the whoever to have it
    because I just can’t anymore
    and all these drugs did was try to give a voice
    to what I was trying to lacerate.
    I’m just it’s all
    just overloading
    raw until pain has no meaning or individual parts
    numb is not a cessation
    as defined but heretofore as found
    numb is not desecration
    but salvation
    that can’t be found it’s been mislabeled
    I want numb.
    Do NOT overtake, overlay, overwhelm
    misengage, disengage, disintegrative dissarray,
    Having 50 million voices screaming in a limited nutshell
    and not hearing the phone ring is not profound deafness
    though it might lead to a dead on path for it
    given some time.
    The Reasons Being Varied.
  2. BelovedDreamer

    BelovedDreamer Well-Known Member

    ugh, i was right, I regretted this in the morning. I just had my wisdom teeth removed and they pumped me full of all sorts of drugs. The result was me, in pain, re-living old pain, and soooo not coherent. Sorry.
  3. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You write better intoxicated than I do stone cold sober.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: thanks for sharing!
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