This is my first post, a little about myself I'm 19, I failed out of college and I work in a Retail store labeled as gay. Here's my rant For the last year of my life its like this: Get up, work, work out, sleep I feel like a robot...I feel like I just can't live anymore. I work at a place in where I am the only heterosexual male working there...I get constant bullshit thrown at me because people think I'm gay...I don't have anything against it but I'm just tired of being called a ****** with no reason for it. To the point where I flipped out and beat a guy up tonight over it. I'm so tired of it in my pathetic self proving state of mind I went and payed for it like a pathetic unloved fuck, she even smoked crack before she did the deed. Right now I'm scared, lonely, and I cannot sleep. I can barely organize my thoughts and I feel like a horrible sinner, who's going to burn in hell for the rest of eternity. I only hope god can forgive me. The rest of my problems: My father is pushing his career on me. My brother is useless, and I have to pay for every bad deed he does I can't find the right religion for me, I'm trying to be a good catholic but its just so hard I try to be a good vegitarian, but I just can't stop eating meat I can't do well in school I want to so bad but I always end up fucking things up. The only thing I'm good for is hurting people, and making myself feel bad.