The Reverse Bucket-List

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Freya, Aug 14, 2014.

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  1. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Making a bucket list is, I have found (having made a couple) a really good way to make yourself feel crappy and overwhelmed. So many things you think you should do but kinda don't really want to, so many things you really want to do and are worried you can't/won't, so many things.....

    So. This is the reverse bucket list. Stuff you have ALREADY done that made a significant impact on your life and contributed to who you are today and/or were noteworthy in some way.

    1. I trained to be a teacher and taught for five years, making at least some impact on the lives of a few hundred kids.
    2. I climbed to the top of St Peter's Basilica in Rome (not something to do if you are in any way claustrophobic)
    3. I dropped out of uni twice, and graduated uni twice - once with a bachelors degree and once with a masters level degree
    4. I traveled to another continent.
    5. I fell in love - hard.
    6. I retrained for a new profession from scratch and am making a success of it.
    7. I lost everything and rebuilt my life from the ground up
    8. I performed solo in front of an audience on a few occasions and despite feeling like I might, did not die of fear.
    9. I learned to play a musical instrument to a high standard
    10. I had paintings exhibited in a public space.

    What have you already done (and please do NOT add to this thread with negative "I have done nothing ever" type comments because a) Its not helpful and b) Its not true, however much you try to persuade yourself it is!)

  2. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    I just now saw this thread (although I haven't been able to get on as much lately), but this is a fantastic idea! Thank you so much for starting it.

    Here's my reverse bucket list:

    1. I married someone who is perfect for me.
    2. I taught myself how to play the piano.
    3. I got a Bachelor's Degree in English.
    4. I've performed music for various crowds nearly 200 times.
    5. I've met many celebrities (most of them from the sports world).
    6. I've lead multiple, successful small groups that have greatly impacted many lives.
    7. On more than one occasion I have lost more than 50 lbs.
    8. I've survived 4 separate and severe, long-running bouts of depression.
    9. I know it sounds silly, but I am still regarded as the best drummer ever to come out of my high school.
    10. I pranked Axl Rose once by "Rick-Rolling" him. No joke.
  3. Dreamland

    Dreamland Survivor

    This is great! Freya, what musical instrument do you play? And JV3... I HAVE to know the story about pranking Axl Rose.

    Here's my list (I went with 10 items just to keep up the pattern):

    1.) I earned both a BS and MS degree, each in fairly separate (though sorta related) disciplines
    2.) I started sharing my musical aspirations with others after years of shyness--have since put my own music out there and performed in a '40s-style vocal trio
    4.) I got my dream job at an endangered wildlife center, realized it was all wrong for me, and started searching for a career all over
    5.) I got up the courage to come out of the closet, leave a loveless marriage of convenience, and allow myself to *really* fall in love
    6.) I stood up for my convictions and left a really cushy job on principle (misconduct by coworkers and sexual harassment by boss)
    7.) I dealt with my mother's estate primarily on my own after she died of complications from alcoholism--it really put me to the test, and I made it
    8.) I've carved multiple celebrity portraits into pumpkins for Halloween, garnering some celebrity/public attention that brought me more out of my shell
    9.) I lost roughly 20-25 pounds in my senior year of high school and have kept it off for over a decade (yay!)
    10.) I taught myself guitar and piano--I'm not great at either, but they make me happy
  4. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    I dunno if I have 10 things so here goes

    1) Married for 25 years; now divorced, but enjoyed the first 15 years
    2) Had a daughter who is 25 now, self-sufficient and happy
    3) BS degree in engineering; Masters in Bus Admin; almost didn't make the BS due to financial considerations
    4) I learned to travel by myself and have adventures
    5) I studied spiritual philosophy and returned to the religion of my youth
    6) I made a difference in several peoples' lives; either by paying for a child's (not my own) expenses or driving elderly to their doctor appointments. Or making meals at the mission center in town. Volunteering at the church
    7) Learned to meet lots of strangers and become good friends to some of them by taking a chance.
    8) Got a black belt in karate. Almost made it to 2nd degree BB.
    9) Succesfull projects at work when I am working (I'm an engineer)
    10) Made some nice crafts and furniture using woodworking techniques

    It was tough coming up with 10 but I did it! No musical ability to speak of but I enjoy listening to it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2014
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Due to years of isolation from the world I did not get the chance to experience a lot of the things you guys have! But here goes...

    1. Volunteered for a good cause for roughly 8 months.
    2. Got a manual handling certificate.
    3. As a child won many medals for Irish dancing.
    4. As a child won many trophies for tennis (singles and doubles)
    5. As a child modeled in front of a lot of people- that was embarrassing!
    6. I visited England.
    7. Have been to the giants causeway on the very top of northern Ireland, it is amazing!
    8. Despite major depression and attempts. I survived.
    9. I made a difference to someones life who sadly lost the fight.
    10. I am proud of the fact that I am not ashamed that I don't have high levels of educations -if that makes sense.When they walk in my shoes then they can judge.
  6. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    10 things - hmm... well some may think I am cheating on 4 but they are all different individuals so - and in no order except age-

    1. My oldest daughter , now 22 that will be graduating this year from Uni with 2 degress - Business and Nursing, was the President of her Senior Class in High School , national honor society , and has worked since age 16 as well as go to school full time and managed ot become a manager of a retail market while still going to college and live with a nice guy and is mother to his 2 children as if her own.

    2. Second Daughter - 19 - in second year at University - has paid for all of her University through scholarships and works full time as well as school full time "because it is the only way to learn about the real world - by working as well as school". Plans to go work for Doctors without Borders or some other charity for a few years after finishing the University because believes "all people should give back something for the privileged of being in the world and being successful themselves".

    3. Third Daughter - 16- Senior in high school - will be graduating in January 1 1/2 years early because does not like high school so decided the best thing to do was work twice as hard and get it over much faster. Has faced incredible adversity after an awful traumatic thing but made it through visits in Mental Hospitals, cutting, and suicidal thoughts and is still a beautiful young woman that does not hate the world and has never quit. Will be successful in life not because it comes easy for her because it has not- but because sheer force of will and will not quit.

    4. Youngest- Son - 10 years old. Is incredibly smart - at 9 years old set up his own minecraft server from reading and watching youtube videos. Set up home network with all computers and phones and Xbox/PS4 consoles in the entire house - hates school because thinks the teachers should not need to ask so many questions- "Why are they teaching if they need to ask the kids for all the answers?" Is incredibly smart yet still the most sensitive person I have ever met and on Saturday had my wife look up the name of a new kid in school and called him because on Friday he told the boy he would sit at him with lunch and then forgot so he felt bad and did not want the boy to spend all weekend thinking he did not like him or want to sit with him.

    5. My Children - alright, now I am really stretching it as already listed them each - but whatever part I may have played in helping them become the individuals they are. I will add to that foster children that we still keep in contact with years later, and their families that we worked with to help them successfully reunite and still talk to years later.

    6. A 1580 SAT score (back when it was only 2 parts and not 3) that got me a Presidential Scholarship to any University I wanted to attend.

    7. Failing out of University because I never went to a class in the first year and joining the Army as the lowest enlisted yet still managing to get my college degree and achieved rank and position very fast.

    8. Deciding to get out of the Military after 12 years instead of staying with it for the retirement and security when it had turned into something I could no longer personally support or believe in. Making a personal stand based on morals and convictions that made my life much more difficult but did it because I believed it was the right thing to do and the consequences of that decision taking a back seat to my moral beliefs.

    9. Starting a new career in in 10 years go from used car salesman as the only job I could get to General Manager and Minority owner of a multi-franchise New Car Dealership with 125 people working for me and helping them all support their families with decent paying jobs in a business run based on ethics and values while still being profitable enough to afford decent wages and benefits for all my employees.

    10. After becoming very ill physically and spending my days thinking about nothing but dying to end the physical pain and feelings of being useless in the world now to learning how to still contribute something to the world and to my family in some small ways as I can. Learning after having everything a person my want to be considered "successful" that the important things in life had nothing to do with job or money. For deciding to stick around when it would have been far easier to leave and learning to appreciate and find happiness in the little things I can still do.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2014
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hmm well here goes:

    1. Worked on a mobile soup kitchen and met some amazing people.
    The stories they told of how they had become alcoholics and ended on the streets were humbling and taught me to not judge and until I walked in someone's shoes.

    2. Became a nurse, which I loved, till I broke my back and had to give it up.

    3. Underwent 4 years of psychotherapy, after a breakdown and finally forgave my childhood abuser.

    4. Because of the above, worked with severely disturbed kids, most of whom had been sexually abused.
    Made me feel I gave something back and used what I had learnt in therapy.

    5. Raised 3 kids on my own, one my blood and the other 2 fostered and I class them as mine.
    The two boys were emotionally disturbed but have grown up into two fine men, and I feel such a sense of achievement.
    My son has had his demons to fight, but is coming back from it and always comes to me when he needs someone to talk to or help.

    6. I retrained as a cardiac technician (once the boys were old enough) and having failed basic O Level sciences and maths, I went to day release college and did 4 A levels in maths, physics, biology and chemistry. All 4 were A* :D. When my back problems became to much for my job, I took myself off to uni and got a first in .
    computer science at the grand age of 40.

    7. I've been an equestrian and took it as far as show jumping and I adore horses.

    8. Have done my fair share of travelling, most of Europe and as far flung as India and Tibet.

    9. I've never met an animal that didn't like me, or me them.

    10. I can cook like a chef (when the mood takes me) and I used to make fantasy cakes for children's birthdays.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    What amazes me about this thread is the education qualifications you all have. It's extraordinary! Before I would be envious, but right now I am in a different mindset as it's never too late to go back to education. Congrats all of you, you have so much to be proud of and the talents you have are incredible! Fair play :) Also I think it's a great thread, to remind people of what they have accomplished no matter how small or big because each one brings back memories :)
  9. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I really should take the time, to write here.

    Ordinarily, I would be envious, myself. However, this is a good example of how even with the highest education level(s), we find ourselves on "this" type of forum. I'm always surprised, these days, people are so accepting of others 'walks of life'. I suppose it really is NEVER too late to educate yourself. TBH, I have to struggle to write with even this amount of skill. Because, I pretty ghetto, in all honesty. I'm getting better at writing, but as you see, its never really up to snuff. See!

    Congratulations to you all, and I truly hope, you will always land on your feet.

    This should serve as a great example. Mental Illness does NOT discriminate, no matter your education levels(s).

    Most importantly, though, may you all find happiness, in life.
  10. AnaNg

    AnaNg Antiquities Friend

    This is a great exercise, Freya!

    1. I made the decision to follow God wherever He led me, even though I knew He was leading me away from the church of my youth. Eventually, He led me to the Roman Catholic Church, which is where I am staying. I don't know what I did before I was Catholic and I cannot imagine being anything else.

    2. I married my husband, who has been God's blessing and gift to me. He is not perfect, but despite his imperfections, he is exactly who God intended for me. I truly believe that.

    3. I have given birth to three beautiful daughters who I love more than I can possibly begin to express. I am getting to re-experience life through their innocent eyes and am realizing just how much I have to learn too.

    4. While I am only fluent in English, I have a certain degree of fluency in Italian and a bit less in Spanish. I can read Italian and understand it for the most part and the same with Spanish. I used to have a fair command of basic Japanese, but haven't practiced it in years, so it is less than I would like. I can read some Japanese writing (mostly hiragana). I know quite a few phrases and basic greetings in French, German, and Portuguese, and a few words in Irish Gaelic, Korean, Chinese, Russian, Welsh Gaelic, Arabic, Hebrew, Yiddish, and Swahili. I can communicate basic ideas in American Sign Language and I understand a fair amount of Latin (primarily Church Latin). As a result of all this linguistic study, my regular English sometimes sounds like an odd hybrid of English and Italian or Spanish with random other language words and phrases thrown in here and there. My children know that when I look at them and say, "Mi dispiace, mia figlia. You can't do that. Capisce?" that I mean business and that the proper response is, "Si, capisco."

    5. I am a classically trained singer. I was a music and theatre double major in college with a focus in vocal performance and costume design. As a result of my training, I can sing opera, musical theatre, church music, and a myriad of other styles with ease. I can also design and create costumes for the stage.

    6. I have participated and finished four 5K races. I didn't run any of them from start to finish, but I did complete all of them. One day I would like to really start training properly so that I can actually run one and eventually, achieve my dream to complete a marathon.

    7. I have begun to write regularly in my blog. This is a big deal actually. I've never been very good at being consistent in keeping a journal or anything like that, but I recently decided to give blogging another go and it seems to be working very well for me.

    8. I have met Alton Brown who is my favourite celebrity chef. He is hilariously funny in person and very kindly allowed those of us at his book signing who had brought our kids (as well as all pregnant ladies) to cut to the front of the line so we wouldn't have to wait around long or be on our feet. When I met him, I went with my husband and our two eldest (baby wasn't even in utero yet) and he was so great with our girls and patient with taking pictures and all.

    9. I am a pretty decent baker and not a bad cook either. I feel especially accomplished inasmuch as I have successfully duplicated my mother in law's holiday buns recipe that my husband loved from his childhood. I also make some pretty awesome pecan pralines. I discovered a recipe for those last Christmas and they turned out so nice that I made a big batch of them for my therapist (along with my famous pumpkin chocolate chip muffins) and his family.

    10. I am still going through a horribly dark depression (almost 21 months now) and although I have come close to ending my life a number of times during this, I am still here. Some days I am more glad about this than others, but for today, I am grateful for life.
  11. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Thanks For sharing Ana- made me miss Italy and think about how long it has been since i spoke Italian to anybody, even though we used to speak it in th ehome when my oldest two daughters were small. This thread inspires me - thanks all that have posted :)
  12. Caminho - lunar

    Caminho - lunar Active Member

    Happy to find this thread when I'm feeling really low...

    1. I survived a childhood of loneliness and depression
    2. I survived the sexual abuse in my teenage years
    3. I was awarded as the best student of the year in my last year at high school
    4. I got a degree in engineering
    5. I fall in love and got married (can't figure out how because of my social issues)
    6. I had 3 children (aged 19, 16 and 12) who are amazing persons and make this world a better place to live.
    7. I was able to give my three children what I never had. They know they were wanted and are loved for what they are and not because they are so well behaved and sucessful at school.
    8. I have made the "Camino de Santiago" by foot by myself (250 km in 8 days).
    9. I'm on my second psychotherapy since january (the first ended 4 years ago.
    10. And last and the most amazing one I'm still here.
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