It carries me. It swirls around me. Sometimes it brings me to nice things. Sometimes excruciatingly hard things. The online river is the same, so many people have drifted away leaving me. It seems that I have lost my touch for making new friends and the old ones are thinning quickly in the rush of water that is life online. I am so depressed, fighting physical problems as well as mental is exhausting. One good thing is I think I have narrowed the afternoon headaches to Adderall. We'll see if today is the same. This place in the river has taken away my ability to enjoy reading books. This hurts me more than I can say. I know @Freya understands what that would be like. I keep buying books and checking books out from library and not reading them.