The S#*T-Stick Paradox

Discussion in 'Opinions, Beliefs, & Points of View' started by A.SoNiC.boY, Jan 6, 2013.

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  1. A.SoNiC.boY

    A.SoNiC.boY Well-Known Member

    *This is a joke. It's clearly quite flawed. So there is NO need for scientific critique.* :p

    The S#*T-Stick Paradox

    Premise: Consider the proverbial “Shit-Stick” often analogously applied to define the nature of human existence. While this “Shit-Stick” is in theory supposed to have one end which has fecal matter on it, and one where the feces is not present, it often appears that in fact both ends of the “Shit-Stick” which is human existence, contain fecal matter.

    Now for arguments sake let us say we do experience this “Double-Fecalized-Stick” paradox in our existences... Presuming the theory of existence where there are in fact “Two Ends” IS in fact true why are we unable to experience this “Duality of Stickness”?

    Perhaps the answer is both simple, and immensely complex at the same time...

    We exist in 3 Dimension, which is the geometrical maximum of our perception...
    So what if this “Shit-Stick” is actually a 4 Dimensional structure.

    Clearly this is no a physical twig with feces a-fixed to one end by what even nefarious means the universe picked... but let us use the geometric phenomenon and apply it to this thought...

    If we use the theoretical example of a 2 Dimensional “Being”, a “Flatlander” as the term, and in this case the comparative example, coined by Carl Sagan.(*1)

    The Flatlander can only process up to 2 Dimension of Existence, and though his “World” is a 3d sphere, he is only able to interpenetrate the first two Dimension of it, the 3rd being “beyond” his perception. Were he to walk in a straight line trying to reach the edge.. he would eventually wind up,
    inexplicably, back where he started.

    As he returns to his physical starting point in this concept, he would be able to identify that he had returned to what at least appeared to be the exact spot from which he has started... Though I suppose he might interpenetrate this as a Quantium-Mecanical Torment form what ever 2 Dimentional Diety he chose to blame or that he had entered “an Alternate-Universe” (though his actual response would probably be dictated by the intensity of his individual tendency for paranoia).

    Applying this to our “Shit-Stick Paradox”...
    Given the overwhelming and intensely negative reaction 99.99%+ of humans have towards a close encounter with fecal matter in a post-excreminatiory situation, which become that much more intense when said feces is not even our own... is it such leap to suggest that because of this theoretical 4-Dimensional nature of the “Shit-Stick”, coupled with the almost universal reaction to having shit pushed in your face out of nowhere (at least the equivalent reaction for the situation) that we simply do not realize that due to our 3-Dimensionally Limited existences were are not seeing the whole picture?

    I am not certain, but I believe this new explanation of human nature deserves SEVERAL redundant Scientific Grants and reasonable access to the current top of the line super-computer(s) which are available... or not, that works too... We must fund this research... for the children... as they is our future.

    [It should be noted, as I did mention “quantium-related theory, albeit brefily... that it is also entirely possible that: Not only Is there NO spoon, there is also no spoon or shit, and as a matter of fact you don't actually exist at at... you just think you do...]

    *1: if you are actually checking the ONE and only source here... god help you. Go search for it on google, look for the COSMOS series, I'm not your Mom, and I'm not doing your homework for you. You're grounded, so go to your room and don't you dare come out till you have a LITERAL! PHYSICAL! 100% ACCURATE example of a Tesseract to show me... Don't worry, I won't be holding my breath.
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

  3. Wysteria Blue

    Wysteria Blue Well-Known Member

    I loved this and thought it wonderfully written...even learned a few thing! WTG! Brilliantly done...
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