The s*** will hit the fan...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Roo Roo, Aug 2, 2009.

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  1. Roo Roo

    Roo Roo Active Member

    Well, the time has finally come, tomorrow, the shit will hit the fan.

    I have flunked my college classes but my parents don't know but they will tomorrow when they get back from thier trip. My classes have ended so now they will want to see my grades. I just can't tell them I have been lying to them all this time again. I have already failed my first year of college and now I have failed summer school. I was suppose to have changed but I haven't. That’s how it has been all my life, I am just a loser.

    They told me that if it happened again they would no longer financially support me or house me. I know they love me but I know that after this they won’t trust me or respect me. And honestly I won’t blame them for it, I deserve it.

    I just feel an enormous amount of guilt about what I have done and a lot of self hate for totally ruining my life. At this point I won’t be accepted into any colleges either, I have no future, the only thing I would be able to do would be join the army and die in Iraq. At least then I could do something with this worthless body of mine.

    I am just scared and feel trapped, I just want to swallow the whole bottle of extra strength Tylenol that I have next to my bed, plus the 5 Vicodin I have. Maybe then the pain would stop but I doubt it...

    And on top of that the house is a fucking mess, and I don't even have the energy to clean it before they get home.

    I don't know what to do...
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 2, 2009
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I know what it's like to fail college courses. I did some really stupid stuff when I was in college, and I never went to class. So needless to say, my parents weren't happy with my grades. So I sort of know what you're going through.

    I hope you didn't take any of those pills. I'm around if you ever feel like talking.
  3. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. You don't deserve any of the pain you're going through. I had to drop out of college because of my mental illness, and I didn't even finish all my classes. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back, I don't know if I'll reach that sort of stability. I was stable with medications, but they destroyed my memory and ability to think, so there was no chance of going back to school... and now I'm off the meds, but I have to be really careful about stressing myself at all.

    But college isn't the only path to take. I know plenty of people who are doing just fine and haven't gotten a college education. I understand the parental pressures, but please try to realize that nobody HAS to go to college to do something meaningful with their life. Plenty of people don't.

    I hope it doesn't go too badly with your parents :mellow:

    Do you think you'd be able to find a job and rent an apartment? Maybe with a roommate if it's too expensive? That's what I'm trying to do now. Its hard but I'm kinda getting by... lol.

    Please don't hurt yourself. Let us know how things go, ok? Good luck
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