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The sadness hurts

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by astralization, Aug 6, 2015.

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  1. astralization

    astralization New Member

    I am 19 and I'm really sad so sad I just want to die I haven't had a friend in 6 years my life is horrible everyone is mean to me I'm a male and I can't stop crying I try to be positive and it only lasts a week at most I've tried to do suicide but I'm too scared what if it somehow is even worse than here when you die I've been a sad pathetic loner my whole life I also smell horrible no matter what I do its some kinda disease but I wanted to kill myself even before that I'm ugly I've only had one girlfriend ever and I loved her so much but then she just stopped talking to me over a smelly disease I mean good God if their is a God I hate him or her or it my life is terrible I only go outside after midnight because I'm too scared to talk to anyone I leave the front door unlocked and opened a bit while I sleep hoping someone comes in and ends my pathetic miserable life the sadness I feel is worse than any physical pain and the loneliness is just as bad I'm so pathetic I watched the future diary anime and just busted in too tears at the end I don't take care of myself anymore so I can get cancer or something and die since I'm too scared to grab a knife and do it I hate this world and feel trapped I would nuke the world if I could to save us all
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Hi, and welcome to SF. :hug: I hope you find friendship and support here.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you talked to your doctor about the way you smell there maybe a medication that can help you
    Have you had your blood checked lately you could have diabetes or some other illness if controlled would take the odor away from you
    I am sorry you feel so alone keep talking to us here you will find many kind people here
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. Please do not at the moment as you are among friends. You have to remain strong as you have rest of your life ahead of you. Yes, that so called friend was horrible to you. Just keep away from her and please seek medical advice as it may be a medical issue. Yes, I know its embarrassing to discuss it but doctor are bound to a confidential oath. There is nothing to worry about please. Be strong as be safe.
  5. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member

    I hear you. I cried at the end of Future Diary too, a few years ago. I cry frequently in general too, nowadays. Whether you're a man or woman, crying shouldn't be something to be frowned upon. There's nothing wrong with being sentimentally attached to a movie, TV show, anime, or whatever and crying over it. It's certainly not unnatural to cry when you're sad or depressed. Anyway, based on what you've mentioned, I can relate to you really well, especially regarding loneliness. I'm sorry you're hurting so much.
  6. ThinBlueFlame

    ThinBlueFlame Member

    Welcome to the forum, astralization.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless. I'm glad you decided to reach out. I was actually comforted to read this: "I leave the front door unlocked and opened a bit while I sleep hoping someone comes in and ends my pathetic miserable life." I also do things like that (go for walks late at night alone in bad neighborhoods, etc.). It's not good that we're seeking out ways for someone to hurt us so we don't have to do it ourselves, but you're not alone - I'm sure a lot of us here can relate to that tendency. So, thank you for sharing. I hope you find the support you need here.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to sf,I'm sorry you are suffering. Here if you need someone to talk to.
  8. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  9. Feel free to talk to me im quite New here also have no friends and i am about your age. :)
  10. Husky

    Husky Well-Known Member

    Hi Astralization, I’m sorry you’re feeling sad at the moment because like everyone you deserve happiness. I want you to know that you’re not pathetic and I for one commend you because you obviously keep trying so hard to break this cycle of sadness which is not easy to do. Please keep trying because it only takes a single moment to change your whole life forever.

    You’ll find the support and people on here are awesome. Welcome to the forum and I hope that things improve for you. Take care, Husky
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