The sadness never ends

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tenholehweels, Jul 8, 2011.

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  1. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    I never leave my bedroom anymore, whats the point?

    Nothing to live for anymore,all i really want to do is die.

    Please someone tell me its ok, to go now..

    Noone to care for,nothing to live for.
     
  2. Bruz

    Bruz Member

    Tell us your story dude? how did you get to this point?
     
  3. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    7months ago my wife of 20yrs left me for another man,i never see my
    daughter anymore,both sons have moved away,losing my home,
    disabled and can't work,dead broke..

    so you see death is my only way out.

    For some there is some hope but for me there is none..
     
  4. Bruz

    Bruz Member

    Damn man, I don't have it as bad as that, but I still sure do feel like dying too, it's my wife that keeps me in this world, sometimes i feel like she'd be better off with somebody else so i can die without leaving her in heartache...

    Just do 1 thing for me if you would please? Call your children dude, open up to them, tell them this is how you feel! i'm sure they will have something to remind you of something positive in your life.

    Doesn't have to be today, but at least have the courtesy to let them know where you are at, imagine if you died without them being given the chance to tell you they love you,

    let me know what they say, just promise you will call them, it's not asking too much :)
     
  5. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    can't call my middle son he has not gotten settled yet and has no
    phone.
    my oldest son has made it clear he doesn't want to hear from me
    ever.

    i won't tell my daughter she's only 6
    my wife..ex-wife whatever told me on more than one occasion
    she wants me to die.

    so theres no one to tell..

    i'm not religious so i have no fear of hell,since there is no such thing.
    this is as close to hell as it gets.
     
  6. Bruz

    Bruz Member

    yeah i feel like that sometimes, like i am already in hell i just don't know it, and theres just enough in life stringing me along to keep me feeling shit and not going for it.

    Well i can understand your concern about your daughter, why doesn't your eldest son want to hear from you? I kind of had an issue like this with my Dad, he has been part of the reason i was depressed we've always had a shit relationship, i was at the stage where i was quite content with never hearing from him again. But then when the issue came to a head and i told him how shit he made me feel and walked out, we've actually had a surprisingly better relationship, ok yeah it's not brilliant but it's still nice to have him in my life, even if it is in smaller, tolerable amounts. I do truelly know how it feels to hate your dad, with a burning devilish desire, and even i can say i am glad i did not cast him out of my life for good, just call, be open, honest and calm about how you feel, i'm sure he will offer you some form of support, and even if he doesn't at least you will have told him how you feel and he will know why instead of always having that blank spot about why his dad killed himself, and why he was never given the chance to help change things.
     
  7. tenholehweels

    tenholehweels Well-Known Member

    My oldest son was 3 when i married his mother..poor little guy
    his real dad faked his own death to get away from him and his
    mother without paying child support.

    I raised him as my own i never let him feel like a step..i love him
    so dearly, but his mother told him so many lies.

    My middle son was living here with me..but the strain of watching
    me waste away and the hate he has for his mother..he just couldn't
    take it and left to go live with friends in Miami,Fl.

    I am kinda glad he left i was worried,he had made statements that
    he intended to kill his mothers new boyfriend..and i had trained my
    son in martial arts his whole life he was quite capable of carrying out
    his threats..so his leaving saved him from prison.

    My daughter Jenny my life my angel, She is my only reason for living
    but sometimes i feel it would be better for her..to not have to go back
    and forth she could have a stable family life with her mother and her
    mothers new boyfriend.

    I don't trust this man i know his background he's a liar and a user of
    women..41yrs old no children,never married..goes from one woman to
    another a total waste,he doesn't help her with bills or anything.

    I love my niece and my sister-in-law as strange as it seems..they
    have tried to be there for me..since neither one likes my ex-wife
    she has messed up their lives every chance she has ever gotten
    and it has been worse since they have found out the lies she told
    them about me...she told them i was a racist and a bigot and that
    i abused my wife and children which is a lie..and they now know the
    truth.

    they have tried to tell my ex-in-laws about her adultery and lies but
    they won't listen my ex has them convinced that she has no boyfriend
    and that i'm a liar and an abuser..its sickening i loved my in-laws for
    all these years they were like my real family since i really had none of
    my own.
     
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