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Damn man, I don't have it as bad as that, but I still sure do feel like dying too, it's my wife that keeps me in this world, sometimes i feel like she'd be better off with somebody else so i can die without leaving her in heartache...
Just do 1 thing for me if you would please? Call your children dude, open up to them, tell them this is how you feel! i'm sure they will have something to remind you of something positive in your life.
Doesn't have to be today, but at least have the courtesy to let them know where you are at, imagine if you died without them being given the chance to tell you they love you,
let me know what they say, just promise you will call them, it's not asking too much
yeah i feel like that sometimes, like i am already in hell i just don't know it, and theres just enough in life stringing me along to keep me feeling shit and not going for it.
Well i can understand your concern about your daughter, why doesn't your eldest son want to hear from you? I kind of had an issue like this with my Dad, he has been part of the reason i was depressed we've always had a shit relationship, i was at the stage where i was quite content with never hearing from him again. But then when the issue came to a head and i told him how shit he made me feel and walked out, we've actually had a surprisingly better relationship, ok yeah it's not brilliant but it's still nice to have him in my life, even if it is in smaller, tolerable amounts. I do truelly know how it feels to hate your dad, with a burning devilish desire, and even i can say i am glad i did not cast him out of my life for good, just call, be open, honest and calm about how you feel, i'm sure he will offer you some form of support, and even if he doesn't at least you will have told him how you feel and he will know why instead of always having that blank spot about why his dad killed himself, and why he was never given the chance to help change things.
My oldest son was 3 when i married his mother..poor little guy
his real dad faked his own death to get away from him and his
mother without paying child support.
I raised him as my own i never let him feel like a step..i love him
so dearly, but his mother told him so many lies.
My middle son was living here with me..but the strain of watching
me waste away and the hate he has for his mother..he just couldn't
take it and left to go live with friends in Miami,Fl.
I am kinda glad he left i was worried,he had made statements that
he intended to kill his mothers new boyfriend..and i had trained my
son in martial arts his whole life he was quite capable of carrying out
his threats..so his leaving saved him from prison.
My daughter Jenny my life my angel, She is my only reason for living
but sometimes i feel it would be better for her..to not have to go back
and forth she could have a stable family life with her mother and her
mothers new boyfriend.
I don't trust this man i know his background he's a liar and a user of
women..41yrs old no children,never married..goes from one woman to
another a total waste,he doesn't help her with bills or anything.
I love my niece and my sister-in-law as strange as it seems..they
have tried to be there for me..since neither one likes my ex-wife
she has messed up their lives every chance she has ever gotten
and it has been worse since they have found out the lies she told
them about me...she told them i was a racist and a bigot and that
i abused my wife and children which is a lie..and they now know the
they have tried to tell my ex-in-laws about her adultery and lies but
they won't listen my ex has them convinced that she has no boyfriend
and that i'm a liar and an abuser..its sickening i loved my in-laws for
all these years they were like my real family since i really had none of