The Same

I knocked myself out but I have woken up still feeling the same if not worse.

I have an appointment with Sam in just over an hour and I am wondering how much to tell her.

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to go on anymore. I can't fight it anymore. It's hard fighting it even when I know I have plans for Sunday night. I need to hold on until then. But I am struggling to.

 

GP,

I am so sorry that when you rang back the crisis team they did not help. They sounded quite patronising to me from what I read. Tell her how bad you feel, be honest and tell her your fears of being hospitalised and how that impacts on what you do and do not tell her. I would say to tell her you may have a plan, see what she says. But don't fight what the outcome would be. Be as honest as you can be. You can fight through this hun. I hope it goes ok. :hug:

 

Please be honest and accept the help that is offered...severe depression has a way of masking any genuine efforts made on our behalf...and please also follow the recommendations should they feel that hospitalization is indicated...I have been in and out of hospitals for the last few months, so I know how this feels, but you need to have more aggressive efforts to get yourelf more stable again...let us know how you are doing...J

 

It's all gone a bit messy.

 

How so?

 

What has happwned GP. Please tell us. I hope everything is ok and most importantly that you are ok.

 

I've just blogged about it. Long story

http://behind-the-scenes-goldenpsych.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-wish-i-hadnt-said-anything.html

I shouldn't have said anything to Sam. It's landed me in a bit of touble.