And the clock is ticking... I've been a member for a while, but i have never post about my suicidal risk. Because i'm not one who likes to draw attention nor want to be pitied, contemptuous sorrow or empathy for me. I know people here wants to help, but i doubt strangers know how hurt i am. I have been deprived of happiness for so long. The expression of joy has lost its meaning. And pain has become trivial. I dont blame anybody but myself for my failures, for i am the one who allowed myself into this position. I am weak. I gave life chances over and over, only to set myself for dissapointement. It has forsaken me. I dont hate life, only mine. I dont hate people, only me. I'm thankful to have met wonderful people here in SF. Some whom depression is justified, others not so much. But suffer we all have. My time is running out, so are my options. Scared i might be, but to go i must. People wont miss me, but to miss you all i shall, even in oblivion.