The Shower or email of the day

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Sep 13, 2008.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
    basket according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
    mental note to do more sit-ups/leg- lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
    with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
    10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
    cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
    on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed

    How To Shower Like a Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
    and leave them in a pile on the floor.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her
    making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
    them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and
    surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on
    the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk..


    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
    hanging out of bath the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
    fan on..

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her
    and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.


    "Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

    "War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."

    “I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.”
    ~Oscar Wilde

  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you for sharing Terry, Its hilarious and so true :laugh:
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    That is so true and very funny :)
  4. Anju

    Anju Well-Known Member

    Funny cause it's true :laugh:
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