The shunning of the Atheist.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by BeautifullyChaotic, Dec 20, 2011.

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  1. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    So, I recently came out to my friends and family about being Atheist - I have been disowned and abandoned by those I thought to love me the most and only a few people have stuck with me, but constantly feel the need to preach at me about god and inform me that I am going to hell and taking my child with me.

    I feel so... ostracized and even guilty for being unable to force myself to believe in something I have no reason to believe in.

    To be made to feel guilty for not accepting something that can not be proven is cruel; sensible people are put in this position where they are expected to think like everyone else they know or be shunned. Why can people not see that this is wrong?

    while I am happier in a sense, since I came out and am no longer living a lie, I am very depressed over the loss of my family and friends as a result of being honest.

    Idk what to do - Should I just go back to faking it? Saying that I believe when I really don't just to appease the masses and be accepted again?
  2. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    If they judge you in such a harsh manner they show just how limited they are.
  3. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    My view is this:: People who believe in god need to prove it's existence and thus far they can't. It's not for atheists to disprove the existence of god because there is nothing there to disprove. I have a higher moral code than a lot of people I've met,that comes from within,I know the difference between right and wrong. People who think you must be god fearing to be moral,decent,charitable are much mistaken. How many catholic preists have been up on child abuse charges this past five years? It runs into the thousands I know,does there god tell them to behave like that? Anyone disowns you for having common sense and putting your faith in reality,truth,logic and science is not worth worrying about.

    If you speak to god it's called praying....
    If god speaks to you they call you schizophrenic.....
  4. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member

    “A man’s ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary.
    Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.”
    -Albert Einstein

    Hi, fellow atheist!

    I'm so sorry that you are being judged and dropped. According to religious people, isn't that solely God's job?

    Rejection is hard but I find pretending to be exhausting, demoralizing, depressing, and isolating. I feel that being true to yourself is better--you can respect yourself and you get the chance to find people who genuinely accept you.
  5. Cowburn

    Cowburn Well-Known Member

    Ask yourself this, if they have shunned you like that for not believing in God do you really want to fake it just to appease them?
  6. Raven

    Raven Guest

    I don't think you would be doing them a service nor yourself by simply saying you are a believer again. Faith is real and very powerful thing for a lot of people, and when they find out that someone does not share their faith it can cause a lot of conflict. Be prepared to defend your choice and explain the why no longer feel the way they do, you are not going to change anyone else mind and that should not be your goal, the main thing is to be able to back up why you no longer choose faith.

    It will take time and some people may never accept someone that is not in the same group as them, but as you stick it out most will come to understand and thins will cool off. Just keep your head up.

  7. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    As far as I'm concerned, people who shun the atheist and try to convert them are absolute hypocrites. Their religions (usually) say explicitly to not discriminate on others and treat others the way you they would want to be treated. This is why I despise bible-pushers.

    On a side note, I don't hate all relgious people. Only the ignorant ones who think they're better than everyone else because they believe a certain thing.
  8. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    I guess sometimes it just seems that religion is used as a free pass for hate - My god says you are bad so I have to hate you.

    The loss of family and friends is the hardest part for me, seeing as I had very few friends to begin with and very few family members that cared enough to keep in touch; now I haven't got anyone except for my husband.

    I'm glad I'm not living that lie anymore, but it's so lonely now. I've never judged anyone on their beliefs but I am being judged on my lack of it - I judge the individual on his/her actions, but never on what group they belong to... but here I am being judged as a horrible person because I think differently. It's just not fair.

    You guys are right though, it's just too hard to keep hiding who I am and pretending to be someone I'm not - I'm still a good person, but if they can't see that then screw them.
  9. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member

    I think that religion is often an excuse not to think.

    You are a rare one. You think. You have morals without fear of hell. You are better natured than most people I meet. Just look at your amazing sig.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2011
  10. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Belladonna, I think I really needed to hear that right now. :hug:
  11. Mapleman

    Mapleman Member

    I'm not an atheist, but here:
  12. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member


    I'm so glad we relate well.
  13. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    It is very nice to know I'm not alone, it is a cold world for the non-believer but the more I talk about it on the web, the more people I find who think like me. It's very comforting.
  14. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    No it is not, there are far more non-believers than there are believers, you happen to be around a group of believers, cast your net wider afield and you will find that your really in the majority.
    I myself am a Muslim and a believer, but I hold no antipathy towards non-believers, that is simply your good.
  15. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    i'm wondering how you can find yourself in a majority of non believers when at least three quarters of americans believe in god? hmmm:huh:
  16. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    The Atheist population is much less than the Religion population.

    ^ ^
    He's right
  17. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    While I think there may be more atheists than I realize, most of them are hiding and claiming to be religious in order to fit in. It takes a lot of courage to fit in and the majority of the US is Christian.

    I managed to find a facebook group for Atheists in my area, but there are only a few of us and most haven't "come out" to their family and friends out of fear of persecution. They actually feel the need to make this group secret to protect it's members.
  18. Adam107

    Adam107 New Member

    Wow, I guess I should count myself lucky. I've never concealed the fact that I'm an atheist and I never got any crap for it (hell, half of everyone I meet turn out to be nonbelievers). I'm sorry to hear that everyone around you had such a bad reaction. I hope that with time, patience, and civilized communication, they will eventually accept you for who you are.
  19. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    first off, i am not an atheist. i went to a christian school, but i am not christian. but i was raised to have tolerance of all faiths, and this applies to people who also don't have one.

    the way i see it is that you can have a spirituality or faith but it doesn't mean that you follow a religion too. it's not mutually exclusive but more like a venn diagram lol. you can have a religion without spirituality or faith but it destroys the whole point of religion in the first place.

    which brings me to my next point: you aint gonna do them or you a favour by saying that you are a believer, if you're not -- it's a personal thing and trust me it's nearly impossible to fake. religion is not about shunning those who do not believe in the same things that they do. that's just their own prejudices coming into play, and although it's difficult you have to try and take it in your stride as much as possible. know that with your own moral code (a good one, too!) and so because of this, that you take the higher ground and hope that one day they can see past their own differences and prejudices. and good on you for being honest with them, if nothing else.

  20. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Haters gonna hate. Shrug. Who you are isn't determined by your religion or lack thereof, but by your deeds and how you treat others. Ask them how they perceive their overt prejudice against you by treating you poorly and judging you.
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