the simple truth is-it never get's any better...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, May 15, 2007.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    The simple truth is this it doesn't get any better I don't care what anyone says,I'm not taking a negative view on things just being honest.No matter what type of medication,type of therapy and how much and whatever else can be thrown my way it never get's any better.Year's and years of the same shit and trying to be fooled by supposingly that thing's will improve in a pure false joke.
  2. So why do I have to go out everyday to some institution to have my brain fried inside my skull like an egg to get enough money to live a life I don't want.
  3. missybaby

    missybaby Active Member

    your right ace it doesnt at least not at first and it is so bloody hard to old onto that it is easier to give up.when you think about killing yourself what has happened where are you because these are your triggers so when and where ace

    talk to me ace please i want to try and help
  4. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Well that's what I keep saying,I'm 32 years of age and have been suffering from this shit the majority of my life and have been trying to change for that long but they keep saying it will get better and it wont and doesn't alway's be the same.i say yes it does alway's be the same and alway's will because it alway's has been and I don't need to be fooled that it will change.

    For the simple fact that I could feel ok for a couple of minutes then bang back down again is it really worth it?For me it is'nt worth it because to go through endless shit day after day is pointless.Seeing a Psychiatrist and Psychologist(Therapist) endlessly for what?Nothing because you keep feeling the same way.

    It's pure bullshit to live like this,I wish I could say something else but on a personal level I do know it doesn't get any better that's why I don't need to set myself up for failure when thing's seem to be improving for a little bit.

    missy the truth of the matter is that I'm sick to death of everything and have been for that long enough that I've wanted to die for that long's purely shit the endless pain of depression,the Ocd and the bdd the obsessiveness about myself is that bad I've had it for that long.all I want to do is sleep,I have no hope nothing at all seriously my days are filled with endless pain and i just want to sleep.Mood swing's all the time and just trying exhaustingly to stay afloat it's pure bullshit it really is.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2007
  5. missybaby

    missybaby Active Member

    ace sweety you didnt get my point im not saying set yourself up i mean take it as slow as you want try something what do you like to do any shows or movies or music you like?
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Yes I like certain,shows,music,sport's etc just I hate having this type of feeling all the time.:sad:
  7. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

  8. missybaby

    missybaby Active Member

    ace sweety ill tell u what i do i critique the tv show im watching or the music im listening what the screwed up on or what is completely wrong in every way then im not critiquing i said sweety what are you doing or where are you when you have them?????????
  9. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Ace, I hear what you are saying and for years I said the same thing but please keep on trying all the different medications and treatments you are offered, It just takes one to break through the wall of suffering that surrounds you.... it is out there.
    It's a long hard road to find it but well worth it when you do. :hug:
  10. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Sorry are you asking me where I am when watching the Tv shows etc?
  11. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    bull, for some its better for others it doesnt. not just one way or the other.
  12. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Why don't you read what I said,I said what get's thrown my way so I'm talking about my own experience I'm not stupid I don't experience other people's pain I've been going through mine for that many year's now and have every right to feel as I do about what it's like.Yes I know it get's better for some people but for me personally i know it won't and that's after year's of endless shit,I don't know what other's have gone through I haven't experienced their pain so I'm not one to judge about them.
  13. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    I have reached a point where I think I have to agree with you. Perhaps we can stop trying to get better and work on just keeping from getting worse. Many illnesses cannot be cured but can be maintained for a period of time. What that time frame is will of course differ among people. I could live with being suicidal if I could find a way to keep it at that.....just thinking it vs acting on it.
  14. Leech

    Leech Member

    Hello, Ace. I'm a new face around here and I just wanted to toss in my two cents worth.

    I have just made it through my forty fifth birthday and I too have struggled with some form of depression or suicidal urges since my preteens. I have to agree with your statement about it not getting any better. For me, my ability to make it through each day on autopilot has just gotten better. Wear the face. Tell the joke. Keep plugging on. At what point can we finally say, "OK! Looky, looky. I've stuck with it this long. Can I quit now?"

    But here I am. Working my way through yet another day. I guess I'm just trying to say that you are not the odd man out. I feel the same way.

    Take care.
  15. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I feel the same Ace, even though everyone I know says the opposite.. things just aren't getting better and I'm almost positive they never will.
  16. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I know it may improve for some but after years on end of the same endless pain and problems you constantly question the point of your existance and why you go on.I really wish I could be sitting here feeling like I had some sort of hope at least,but the only comfort i have is in wanting to put this pain to total peace.:sad:
  17. Jackson

    Jackson Guest

    Not to be a dick, but do you really think you've tried everything in your power to make it better?
  18. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    Not to be an ass but this is a question no one has to answer. What is the tool that we can measure our power.Where is the list of everything?If there is even such a try?
  19. Gecko

    Gecko Member

    I must concur. The there is a such a stigma to mental illness, depression, and anything else mental health related. How am i supposed to have a meaningful relationship with someone feeling like this being on medication seeing a therapist not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, crying, coping, does it end ? Maybe one has to put an end to it.
  20. Jackson

    Jackson Guest

    Not to be an ass but this is a question no one has to answer.

    Of course you don't have to.

    What is the tool that we can measure our power.


    Where is the list of everything?

    Again, huh?

    If there is even such a try?


    I can't follow this at all.
    Last edited: May 15, 2007
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