The situation

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by NScot, May 2, 2011.

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  1. NScot

    NScot Well-Known Member

    This is really so complicated.
    I'm 44. Since I was 15 I've had bad phobia/OCD problems. I have no career, no money, no relationships.
    When I was 33 I had to move back home and lived with my mother. In 2007 she died. She left the house in my brothers name, lawyer advised this since anything else would make me voluntarily homeless if we decided to sell the house. But my brother's partner wanted the money and said she would leave him if it wasn't sold. So I was evicted in Sept 08. (Lawyers all said there was nothing I could do). I was sectioned for 10 days because I was suicidal.
    In May of last year the house went on the market, I again was suicidal but this time certainly did not talk to anyone in the NHS. I was suicidal because my home had been the only stability and continuity I had. The house was sold last September, I did get money but it has ran out.
    A few weeks ago I came to London( I'm from Scotland) and have stayed in hotels(that is where the money has gone) since then. In London, away from my hometown for the 1st time in years I can't face going back to the hellishness of my life in Scotland.
    It is hardly great here since I'm still alone and in a few days I'll have to go back(no more money). But I can't face going back. I just want a quick way to end it.

    That is a brief outline of the situation. I don't know how to adequately evoke the feelings I have. The instability of getting evicted, since then I've had *nowhere* to stand emotionally. It is just living minute to minute. And I can't see anything other than ending it all.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry your brother did that to you I am sure your mother did not want this I can understand you home being the only stablility you had then but now is a time to make a new home for you. Are you on disabilty if so get a small place and make it your home okay try to reach out to new people i know it hard but it will help you more I just want you to know i heard your sadness and i hope you can find a way to find stability again and saftey in a place just for you hugs
     
  3. NScot

    NScot Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the answer and your kind thoughts.
    Maybe I wasn't clear enough that the problems with phobias/OCD got worse than ever after I was evicted and being away from it in London made me feel a bit better. That is what I can't face going back to.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Is there anyway you can find a place for you in London a small flat that you can settle in If you feel better in London then you should look at some community base programs that may help you settle in there.
     
  5. NScot

    NScot Well-Known Member

    Hi, thnx for response. I'm looking into the possibility of moving.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you can hun get a safe place of your own let me know how it goes okay hugs
     
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