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The slipperly slope of cosmetic surgery

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#1
I think I finally talked my husband into letting me get some fillers (Juvederm). Only because I wore him out. He said he can't stop me (it's my own money I've been saving), but he's worried it will be a gateway into more and more cosmetic procedures.

Has anyone here done anything like this, and did it help? A good friend of mine thinks I'll notice a change, but it's likely others will not. I'm fixated on one thing on my face, and I'm trying to "fix" it.

I'm 49 and I have to say, this era of my life has been really difficult when it comes to vanity. I hate it. It makes me feel so low that I'm so obsessed with the superficial, but I am literally OBSESSED. It's in my mind all day.
 
#2
With my number of piercings and tattoos, it’d be hypocritical of me to try to talk someone else out of changing their appearance in a way that pleases them. But I will say to be careful that you are going to the best practitioners and getting the results you are actually looking for. I think we’ve all seen plenty of cases where someone ruined their face trying to fix some small perceived flaw.
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#3
I'm seriously considering some fillers and/or Botox if I manage to get a job. A friend of mine has both and I had no idea until recently as it looks so natural.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#4
Thank you both for your responses. As far as I can tell, Juvederm is pretty safe, and FDA approved. Right now, it doesn't feel safe though because of Covid, but when things get better I'm pretty sure it's going to happen.

Suffering from Body Dysmorphia is what confuses me. It's possible it could lead to other things. But I hope being conscious of that helps.
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#5
Thank you both for your responses. As far as I can tell, Juvederm is pretty safe, and FDA approved. Right now, it doesn't feel safe though because of Covid, but when things get better I'm pretty sure it's going to happen.

Suffering from Body Dysmorphia is what confuses me. It's possible it could lead to other things. But I hope being conscious of that helps.
I have body dysmorphia too. It's awful and can get out of control so it's important to build your self worth at the same time. Did you ever get this done?
I am needing some cosmetic work too, so I have researched a lot of stuff. The thing I would be wary ab fillers is that synthetic ones are not recommended, they can move around your face and get lumpy. But some fillers are not so bad. Just research a lot and research the person who puts them in. They are very expensive, maybe look into fat grafting which is initially more, but you don't have to worry about upkeep costs. It is more invasive though. I'm interested if you do or did get them what your opinion is now.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#6
I have body dysmorphia too. It's awful and can get out of control so it's important to build your self worth at the same time. Did you ever get this done?
I am needing some cosmetic work too, so I have researched a lot of stuff. The thing I would be wary ab fillers is that synthetic ones are not recommended, they can move around your face and get lumpy. But some fillers are not so bad. Just research a lot and research the person who puts them in. They are very expensive, maybe look into fat grafting which is initially more, but you don't have to worry about upkeep costs. It is more invasive though. I'm interested if you do or did get them what your opinion is now.
With the pandemic, I've held off on looking too deeply into Juvederm, but since I just got my second vaccination shot, I'm back to trolling the internet to find a reputable place in my town. I think I have a couple of options. My husband is against it, but says he will support my decision. A friend of mine thinks I will be the only one to notice any difference and I should get it done if it will make me feel better. I've been saving up too.

I hadn't heard of grafting before! I'll look it up. But honestly, I do think this could be a very slippery slope with me, so I think Juvederm is the safest and least invasive thing I can do that involves some sort of surgical process.

Thank you for your response, and I'm sorry you have BDD. It's such an obtuse thing, isn't it? Explaining it to people can be frustrating. I worked on it a little in therapy, but I'm back to my old mind games.
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#7
With the pandemic, I've held off on looking too deeply into Juvederm, but since I just got my second vaccination shot, I'm back to trolling the internet to find a reputable place in my town. I think I have a couple of options. My husband is against it, but says he will support my decision. A friend of mine thinks I will be the only one to notice any difference and I should get it done if it will make me feel better. I've been saving up too.

I hadn't heard of grafting before! I'll look it up. But honestly, I do think this could be a very slippery slope with me, so I think Juvederm is the safest and least invasive thing I can do that involves some sort of surgical process.

Thank you for your response, and I'm sorry you have BDD. It's such an obtuse thing, isn't it? Explaining it to people can be frustrating. I worked on it a little in therapy, but I'm back to my old mind games.
Yea it is a beast in my life. I understand where you are coming from slippery slope-wise.
Try realself. Com it has a lot of good info &reviews too if u haven't seen it. I destroyed my looks and health so I'm not even sure if I have it anymore, but probably do, but now definate real damage happened. It's crap. I think pampering can be excellent therapy however for this psychological affliction. I'm tired can't type...
 

Callumin

Well-Known Member
#8
Fillers and body dysmorphia are a bad, bad combo, that's how people end up looking really weird.

If the thing you are trying to "fix" is age related, then you are likely in for a world of pain if you try and fix it with fillers.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#9
Fillers and body dysmorphia are a bad, bad combo, that's how people end up looking really weird.

If the thing you are trying to "fix" is age related, then you are likely in for a world of pain if you try and fix it with fillers.
Not sure how it is a world of pain? Because it never ends?

I just contacted someone for a consultation. As far as I can see Juvederm seems like an OK route (to start). I agree, it's scary and I'm wary of my BDD, but I don't know. I've been wanting this.

What I do have though is my husband looking over the places I've thought about going, so he's making sure I'm at least going to someone really qualified.

Scary that I'm crossing this line, but at the same time... I want it and have been looking into it for a while. I feel like I need it.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#10
I want to also say that my husband does NOT want me doing this, but is agreeing because of some recent events where he's come to realize how much I hate myself and the way I look. So, is that enabling? I don't know. But I think maybe he feels like his back is up against a wall and he's trying to be supportive.

I do plan to go back into therapy soon, but I think doing a little work on the old face is OK at this point too.
 

Callumin

Well-Known Member
#11
Not sure how it is a world of pain? Because it never ends?

I just contacted someone for a consultation. As far as I can see Juvederm seems like an OK route (to start). I agree, it's scary and I'm wary of my BDD, but I don't know. I've been wanting this.

What I do have though is my husband looking over the places I've thought about going, so he's making sure I'm at least going to someone really qualified.

Scary that I'm crossing this line, but at the same time... I want it and have been looking into it for a while. I feel like I need it.
Because fillers can't really reverse aging. A filler can eliminate a wrinkle, or puff up a deflated area, but it cannot lift tissue or tighten it, so when you fill, it only addresses part of the aging feature.

It's kind of like trying to fix sagging breasts by filling them with implants. People try that, and it never ends up looking right.

A family member lost a ton of weight and it aged her quite a bit, so I took her to a plastic surgeon friend who showed her how fillers would get rid of the specific things she didn't like, but it would just add more weight to her already looser, lower face, which overall, wouldn't make her look any younger. If she wanted to look younger, she would need a combo of a mini face lift as well as fillers.

She ended up opting to have her lips filled a bit and some brow Botox, but skipped trying to use fillers to treat her wrinkles, nasolabial lines or jawline.

If you do go down this path, then make sure you do it with a VERY conservative doctor who starts with just a few CC's and won't let you go overboard.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#12
Because fillers can't really reverse aging. A filler can eliminate a wrinkle, or puff up a deflated area, but it cannot lift tissue or tighten it, so when you fill, it only addresses part of the aging feature.

It's kind of like trying to fix sagging breasts by filling them with implants. People try that, and it never ends up looking right.

A family member lost a ton of weight and it aged her quite a bit, so I took her to a plastic surgeon friend who showed her how fillers would get rid of the specific things she didn't like, but it would just add more weight to her already looser, lower face, which overall, wouldn't make her look any younger. If she wanted to look younger, she would need a combo of a mini face lift as well as fillers.

She ended up opting to have her lips filled a bit and some brow Botox, but skipped trying to use fillers to treat her wrinkles, nasolabial lines or jawline.

If you do go down this path, then make sure you do it with a VERY conservative doctor who starts with just a few CC's and won't let you go overboard.
I agree with most of this, and I think surgery can end up taking character away from your face, but I don't know that a few injections will be horrible. I don't know. You bring up good points. But it also dissolves after awhile. So it feels safer than surgery in a number of ways.

Breast implants never look right, and I've been sort of lucky with my BDD in that while I"m 99% unhappy with everything, I've never considered doing anything to my body. I remember in the 1990s when breast implants were all the rage and it was kind of gross to me. But here I am, how many years later, and I sort of understand why people do these things.
 

Callumin

Well-Known Member
#13
I'm not saying injections are always horrible, I'm saying that trying to reverse signs of aging with injections often leads to a less attractive result.
And BDD makes it harder to tell when to stop.

So, for example, even people without BDD usually end up overfilled because they want to see a certain "flaw" gone. It's hard not to want "just a little more" to totally eliminate a wrinkle or to make a jawline perfectly smooth. However, you often have to leave a bit of the "flaw" in order to have the overall effect still look okay. Exactly where to draw that line is extremely hard, even without BDD.

Then the process of watching it wear off can be extremely triggering with BDD. I've seen women who started off with great filler results end up looking like plasticine after 5 years because as it wears off, they become hyper focused on the "flaws" that steadily creep back.

That's why having a doctor who is conservative and isn't afraid to say no to you is your best bet.

I'm not saying don't do it, I have no problem with it. I'm not saying this as someone against fillers, I'm saying this as someone who has quite a bit of knowledge about them and regards them with extreme caution because a lot of people pay a lot of money to end up looking downright worse IMO.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#14
I'm not saying injections are always horrible, I'm saying that trying to reverse signs of aging with injections often leads to a less attractive result.
And BDD makes it harder to tell when to stop.

So, for example, even people without BDD usually end up overfilled because they want to see a certain "flaw" gone. It's hard not to want "just a little more" to totally eliminate a wrinkle or to make a jawline perfectly smooth. However, you often have to leave a bit of the "flaw" in order to have the overall effect still look okay. Exactly where to draw that line is extremely hard, even without BDD.

Then the process of watching it wear off can be extremely triggering with BDD. I've seen women who started off with great filler results end up looking like plasticine after 5 years because as it wears off, they become hyper focused on the "flaws" that steadily creep back.

That's why having a doctor who is conservative and isn't afraid to say no to you is your best bet.

I'm not saying don't do it, I have no problem with it. I'm not saying this as someone against fillers, I'm saying this as someone who has quite a bit of knowledge about them and regards them with extreme caution because a lot of people pay a lot of money to end up looking downright worse IMO.
I'm sorry I wasn't trying to be confrontational. It's more that maybe I'm sensitive because it's vain and it bothers me. To feel like I need these things. But I agree with most of what you're saying. My last therapist actually told me her mother worked for a plastic surgeon so she got work done for a discount and became addicted to it. And I don't want to go down that path. But I do want to fix some things I am obsessed with. I'll keep the conservative doctor thing in mind, thank you!
 

Callumin

Well-Known Member
#15
I'm sorry I wasn't trying to be confrontational. It's more that maybe I'm sensitive because it's vain and it bothers me. To feel like I need these things. But I agree with most of what you're saying. My last therapist actually told me her mother worked for a plastic surgeon so she got work done for a discount and became addicted to it. And I don't want to go down that path. But I do want to fix some things I am obsessed with. I'll keep the conservative doctor thing in mind, thank you!
No apology needed. I rarely take anything as an attack, I'm just a medical person so I tend to reply in a very factual way, which can come off firm.

Take everything I'm saying with a hefty dose of compassion. I'm not judging you, even though you are judging yourself.

I'm trying to offer you perspective that few of the people who sell injections will ever give you because I don't want you to fall victim to both the industry and your own BDD.

I don't want you to feel bad, I just don't want you to end up spending thousands of dollars trying to fix a "flaw" and ending up overall looking worse. It happens a lot.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#16
No apology needed. I rarely take anything as an attack, I'm just a medical person so I tend to reply in a very factual way, which can come off firm.

Take everything I'm saying with a hefty dose of compassion. I'm not judging you, even though you are judging yourself.

I'm trying to offer you perspective that few of the people who sell injections will ever give you because I don't want you to fall victim to both the industry and your own BDD.

I don't want you to feel bad, I just don't want you to end up spending thousands of dollars trying to fix a "flaw" and ending up overall looking worse. It happens a lot.
I really, really appreciate that. Thank you so much. I'm taking all of this to heart.
 

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