The smallest things.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ScarsandHopes, Jan 12, 2009.

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  1. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    They set me off.. I don't know why. I'm so fucking angry!!! I just can't control it anymore. The tiniest thing sets me off, and then I'm pissed, I punch things, I make bruises on myself by clenching so hard, and then I'm depressed and want to kill myself. My body tenses and I just can't get anything out've my head but inflicting pain. WHY?! Why is it so god-damned bad??? The dog goes on the floor, so I slam my head into a stud in the wall! I can't do anything. I WILL NOT take anymore fucking meds EVER. They screwed me up worse than this, and YES I've tried about 20 different ones and I'm DONE! No shrink, they all tell me the same thing, again had about 5 different ones and I'm DONE.

    I just want to die! Why is it so hard for God to just let me die?! I serve no purpose and I'm sick of thinking " OH maybe, JUST MAYBE tomorrow will be better!!!". I'M DONE! So soon it will all end, the pain, the suffering, the tenseness. All will end. I just can't take it anymore. I don't want help, I don't want friends, I just want to die... So PLEASE, PLEASE God, just let me die!!!
  2. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    There must be a way to help you...
    you say youve had shrinks and they say the same thing, what is it they all say?
    why do you feel like this, tell us what the cause of this is, sorry if youve already made like 20 threads about it.
    Take care :hug:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It sounds like you definitely have some anger management issues. I don't know what meds you have been on and what they were for, but some can help to calm this down. Did your docs give you any things that you can do when you feel this intense rage coming? Intervention is very important to keep from hurting yourself or someone else. There are coping strategies you can learn to use if you are willing to do them. :hug:
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with gentlelady, There are meds to help you control your anger. I was in the hospital with a guy who stabbed his brother in one of his fits. They put him on meds for anger and it stabled him right out. No he wasn't a zombie, he acted like he was all civilized. You say you have given up on shrinks but have you tried a therapist. They don't deal with drugs they teach you coping skills and how to not discount the positive thoughts. Try it and see if it helps. It damn sure beats the alternative. Stay Safe!!~Joseph~
  5. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    They all say, that I'm in need of help and should seek out a physician =/
    And the cause is myself, in most cases I've screwed myself up. Very few do I blame on anyone else.

    To Gentlelady: They gave me high blood pressure medication and then called quits when it didn't work.

    To Stranger1: Yes, I've seen therapists, and they just tell me the exact same things I learned in the hospital. Coping skills, I've got plenty of them, what I need is just a cure, not another coping skill. =/
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