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The Solution Focused Thread

Aurelia

πŸ”ΆπŸ”Έβœ΄ πŸ‘‘ βœ΄πŸ”ΈπŸ”Ά
#2
I like the premise behind this, but I don't think solutions are that simple...for some things, anyway.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#3
I like the premise behind this, but I don't think solutions are that simple...for some things, anyway.
Of course they're not simple. In fact they're anything but.

Of course most of the time people are not often interested in solutions. They want to talk or empathize or be empathized with.

However, sometimes people genuinely do want solutions and why not give them a place where they can at least hash it out. It might not be a perfect solution but we can at least lay some ground work, get the ball rolling in the right direction. Some times that's all a person needs. And having said that, maybe this is the thread they go to after they've gotten all the empathy and stuff from the other thread(s). That was my thinking anyway.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”ΆπŸ”Έβœ΄ πŸ‘‘ βœ΄πŸ”ΈπŸ”Ά
#4
I agree.

Also, I think empathy (when it comes to bigger problems, at least) is kind of pointless. I never really understood why some people are satisfied with responses like:

"It'll get better soon."

It's like, how the fuck could you possibly know that? Can you see the future?

Or:

"I hope you feel better. Hugs."

That's like telling someone who's about to jump out of a plane, "I really hope your parachute works. Hugs."

But I digress. Good thinking making this thread. If more responses were solution-focused, maybe people would be more inclined to actually listen to what's being said, and less inclined to keep posting about the same exact things over and over again.
 
#5
I agree.

Also, I think empathy (when it comes to bigger problems, at least) is kind of pointless. I never really understood why some people are satisfied with responses like:

"It'll get better soon."

It's like, how the fuck could you possibly know that? Can you see the future?

Or:

"I hope you feel better. Hugs."

That's like telling someone who's about to jump out of a plane, "I really hope your parachute works. Hugs."

But I digress. Good thinking making this thread. If more responses were solution-focused, maybe people would be more inclined to actually listen to what's being said, and less inclined to keep posting about the same exact things over and over again.
OMG Thank you thank you thank you Aurelia... No, wait.... yep, I think I just experienced some truth here. Wow, I thought that was extinct.

I will add one more thing; Advice is only good if it's taken.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#6
I agree.

Also, I think empathy (when it comes to bigger problems, at least) is kind of pointless. I never really understood why some people are satisfied with responses like:

"It'll get better soon."

It's like, how the fuck could you possibly know that? Can you see the future?

Or:

"I hope you feel better. Hugs."

That's like telling someone who's about to jump out of a plane, "I really hope your parachute works. Hugs."

But I digress. Good thinking making this thread. If more responses were solution-focused, maybe people would be more inclined to actually listen to what's being said, and less inclined to keep posting about the same exact things over and over again.
Precisely. I often wonder if those one time posters who talk about some horror they're going through but never reply back were actually looking for something more substantive than what you mentioned above. Of course, some people want no mention of personal responsibility, but like I said, the empathy thread is there for that

I've asked Walker to make the necessary adjustments, so I await his reply.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”ΆπŸ”Έβœ΄ πŸ‘‘ βœ΄πŸ”ΈπŸ”Ά
#7
Precisely. I often wonder if those one time posters who talk about some horror they're going through but never reply back were actually looking for something more substantive than what you mentioned above. Of course, some people want no mention of personal responsibility, but like I said, the empathy thread is there for that

I've asked Walker to make the necessary adjustments, so I await his reply.
Oh, absolutely. Most people don't want to take any kind of responsibility for their situation. They blame everyone else, insist that they have no choice whatsoever when it comes to their thinking, emotions, and behaviors (some even go as far as to say that they've already tried everything), and then wonder why they continue to feel like shit. They don't want to hear solutions; they want to be coddled, which, in reality, does absolutely nothing for them. Actually, no. I take that back. It does do something for them. It reinforces the idea that they're completely powerless over their situation and completely and utterly screwed. So in actuality, it's harmful more so than helpful.

Most people don't seem to understand that there's a difference between fault and responsibility. Yes, it may very well be someone else's fault that X bad thing happened to you, but it's still your responsibility to choose how you react to it and how you move forward from there.
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#8
Oh, absolutely. Most people don't want to take any kind of responsibility for their situation. They blame everyone else, insist that they have no choice whatsoever when it comes to their thinking, emotions, and behaviors (some even go as far as to say that they've already tried everything), and then wonder why they continue to feel like shit. They don't want to hear solutions; they want to be coddled, which, in reality, does absolutely nothing for them. Actually, no. I take that back. It does do something for them. It reinforces the idea that they're completely powerless over their situation and completely and utterly screwed. So in actuality, it's harmful more so than helpful.

Most people don't seem to understand that there's a difference between fault and responsibility. Yes, it may very well be someone else's fault that X bad thing happened to you, but it's still your responsibility to choose how you react to it and how you move forward from there.
Of course Aurelia. That's why you're the empathy queen. When you've loved them up, gotten them all in touch with their feelings and everything, all greased up. You send them to me.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”ΆπŸ”Έβœ΄ πŸ‘‘ βœ΄πŸ”ΈπŸ”Ά
#9
There are definitely some people I can relate to on here. And I do feel bad seeing some of them struggle so much with things that I've either struggled with in the past, or continue to struggle with. And there are also a handful of people here whom I actually legitimately care about as friends. So even when I can't relate to their situations, it still hurts to see how much they're hurting. That's when I might offer empathy. But overall, I still prefer to think of myself as the queen of logic and reason. It holds a lot more ground than empathy.
 
#12
There are definitely some people I can relate to on here. And I do feel bad seeing some of them struggle so much with things that I've either struggled with in the past, or continue to struggle with. And there are also a handful of people here whom I actually legitimately care about as friends. So even when I can't relate to their situations, it still hurts to see how much they're hurting. That's when I might offer empathy. But overall, I still prefer to think of myself as the queen of logic and reason. It holds a lot more ground than empathy.
"Logic and reason. It holds a lot more ground than empathy." Are you on a roll, or what?:)
 

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