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The Sound Of [Fake] Progress.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by RainbowDust., Feb 10, 2011.

  1. RainbowDust.

    RainbowDust. Well-Known Member

    I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like && right now there's a steal knife in my wind pipe.​

    bending over again, over & over & over. The burning sensation, the blood dripping, everything hurting, everything bruised. I can't sleep. I cant eat without purging, everythings covered in a black and white stench. My mums worrying, my family in general are worrying. It's too much to run now, I can't keep doing it, so im walking I'm tripping over each step, tripping up over the lyrical thoughts playing over in my head.

    && we fall back into the same patters

    When you feel numb & empty & you dont have anywhere to turn, you don't have anywhere to go, there's nothing in you to grab a hold of this tainted reality you're in, you're just wishing for it to end. And again bending over heaving in pain everything, over & over. lb dropping to the floor. Image getting bigger. Scars. Cuts. Pills.

    I can't keep up with myself. Or myself can't keep up with reality. Im not sure what yet.
  2. RainbowDust.

    RainbowDust. Well-Known Member

    I know I'm alive, but I feel like I've died.
    After all this has passed, I still will remain.
    After I've cried my last, they'l be beauty from pain.

    Today a mess. Can you not see. Is this an empty cause, can you see? Every single time, everytime I THINK i'm getting somewhere, you fuck it all up and mess it up. You ignore my signs, I feel like to get you to listen, I need to just go & go.

    Your words dont help.

    'maybe if you look thin they'l help you'
    thank you, but no. Stfu.

    I can't come to terms with it, I cant shift the taste & smell of vomit from me, I just can't the stench just comes all the time over & over & over its just the same It's tiring. throwing up. Vomit on my shoes. Just too much to clean up. So you run & run & run & take more pills & more & more & more until you pass out from exhaustion. There's just too much to think about.
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    You sound in a lot of pain, both physical and mental. I'm not sure why so its difficult to offer advice or reassurance.

    Can you tell us any more?
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You need to talk to your shrink..Tell him/her everything.. You may need to stay in the hospital for a week or two..They are there to help..Being blonimic is a disease.. It will take time to get past this..Please seek the help...