The start of a struggle.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by SilhouetteOfADancer, Dec 15, 2011.

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  1. SilhouetteOfADancer

    SilhouetteOfADancer Active Member

    Over the past few months, I have had quite a stressful relationship with food, counting calories, avoiding higher calorie foods, etc; couple with a potentially dangerous relationship with exercise, almost obsessive at times.
    I understand that i shouldn't, but i feel fat and that i have a large ammount of weight to lose, the target weight for me would put me well into the underweight catagory, and at my worst, i was consuming in the region of 600 calories a day, and at the very least, running five miles a day. In two weeks i lost around 8lbs, but i was saved by a peak in depression within which i lost motivation.
    I have a lot of urges and desires to get my weight loss regime up and running again, and i'm struggling to combat it.
    I see a fat guy but people tell me i'm skinny, and bony, which confuses me. When i was losing weight people commented, but i couldn't see it. And now, i'm struggling to combat these urges, and feel like i'm become awfully fat if i gain a couple of pounds.
    I tried to get help, but i couldn't as i wasn't in danger, so basically too fat to need help, and now, all i want to do is get losing again and get to my initial target, but i fear it won't stop there, or won't stop at all.
    I don't really know what to do, as i'm running out of steam and the doors to help are closed to me.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you tried talking to a dietitican hun you don't need a dr referrall for that and she or he could give you a diet that will help you the most.
  3. BelladonnaM

    BelladonnaM Account Closed

    I'm medically overweight and anorexic. You are NEVER too fat to need or deserve help. Anorexia is psychological, which turns physical--it is even addictive.

    The thing that sucks is that there are so many really bad counselors out there. For one thing, there are so many avenues from licenses, graduate degrees, and MDs. There isn't as strict of a process in the therapy world as there is in the MD doctor world. That is the way it is in the US but I met people from England who have the same complaints. Then, to add to that, it is a running joke among my therapist friends that people become therapists because they themselves have issues. Sometimes the therapist will inadvertently take his/her issues out on you. I once had a therapist with a doctorate in psychology that treated me the way jealous, catty girls do to each other when one gets skinnier than the other.

    You can't give up on yourself because there are some bad therapists out there. Any therapist that says you aren't in danger because you aren't underweight enough does not know what they are talking about. If anything, a good therapist would congratulate you for trying to help yourself BEFORE becoming dangerously ill.
  4. lozzie

    lozzie Well-Known Member

    I guess i didnt think of that. I couldnt even participate in dinner, food today just was not a must for me :(
  5. TheGift

    TheGift Active Member

    I know exactly how you feel. I used to be overweight with people making fun of it, making pig faces and sounds (note: I also get this from my family members), bloating their faces as if to resemble, and even calling e a "fat ass". I never really cared about my weight until I somehow lost a couple of pounds and started hearing nice words like compliments. that made me want to lose weight. As I lost weight and got to my desired weight (I am only 5 feet tall, female, and 17 y/o), which was 97 pounds, I received more good words like that I bloomed but also some biases like that I looked anorexic and I was too ugly. During my diet too, i became overly obsessive towards calorie-counting, eating very low-calorie foods, and even turning down family outings just to escape any temptation of over-eating. I was sad. It had reduced my social life. i was always home, sticking to my diet, eating the food I only prepared and know of the calories. My calorie limit daily is 1,300 calories, which is a very low calorie count but is appropriate to my ho function with weight, weight, age, and gender. Also, during my diet, I was never satisfied of my weight loss that kept me wanting to lose weight.

    But also, during my diet, I felt very weak because I was forcing myself with calorie amounts (1,300 or less) that my body isn't used to. I was scared to change my diet or eat a little more because I was afraid that I would gain weight. For months, i was able to maintain my calorie intake and constantly lose weight. But I really felt my body so weak and my brain just not cooperating with me. Many times I would have black outs and I couldn't see clearly with my eyes. Also, sitting from the couch, I would have a hard time getting up. I felt like a very old person who was bed-ridden for a long time. Also, unlike you, I never exercised. i solely relied on my diet. It was very difficult for me because I would be very psychologically disturbed many times like I would want to give already and just accept my slow metabolism.

    So, as of now, I am still struggling with this. I am now 100 and fluctuating from there to 107 pounds, which is still normal and far from overweight, but I am struggling very hard. so, i'm telling you that it is hard. Calorie-counting is a very bad habit. It may affect your life and your interaction with people. People who go through this can be slaves to food and this thing of theirs can control their lives. So, what I am telling you is choose what you want. If you choose this, you're going to go through a lot of psychological attacks and paranoia. But there's also another choice of not being a slave to food and enjoy life.
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