Over the past few months, I have had quite a stressful relationship with food, counting calories, avoiding higher calorie foods, etc; couple with a potentially dangerous relationship with exercise, almost obsessive at times. I understand that i shouldn't, but i feel fat and that i have a large ammount of weight to lose, the target weight for me would put me well into the underweight catagory, and at my worst, i was consuming in the region of 600 calories a day, and at the very least, running five miles a day. In two weeks i lost around 8lbs, but i was saved by a peak in depression within which i lost motivation. I have a lot of urges and desires to get my weight loss regime up and running again, and i'm struggling to combat it. I see a fat guy but people tell me i'm skinny, and bony, which confuses me. When i was losing weight people commented, but i couldn't see it. And now, i'm struggling to combat these urges, and feel like i'm become awfully fat if i gain a couple of pounds. I tried to get help, but i couldn't as i wasn't in danger, so basically too fat to need help, and now, all i want to do is get losing again and get to my initial target, but i fear it won't stop there, or won't stop at all. I don't really know what to do, as i'm running out of steam and the doors to help are closed to me.