The storm in my head

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HellBound, Jun 2, 2016.

  1. HellBound

    HellBound New Member

    Finding it extremely hard to get through day by day. The darkness is where I feel safe & at home. I hate myself. I cared & loved everyone & wanted to do whatever it took to help them when they were in need. Then one day when I needed someone there I looked back & all around me realizing I was all alone. I can't stand the person staring back at me in the mirror.
  2. sofie

    sofie Banned Member

    I am so sorry, HellBound. I understand the darkness and feeling like you can barely make it day by day. I understand the hatred of yourself and realizing that you are all alone. You are not alone here, there are so many good people here that can help you get through this.
    Jenumbra and HellBound like this.
  3. HellBound

    HellBound New Member

    Thank you for the supportive feed back, I really appreciate it a lot. It means a lot to me. I'm trying my best to open up & let out little by little. I have never been able to talk & let out how I really felt deep down inside, I mean no one really asked. I drown myself so deep in my depression to where that's all I know. I keep my battles & everything inside bottled up for as long as I can take. I know it just damages me inside & gets harder every damn minute to not go insane, but its better that than hurting loved ones & wasting my breath knowing they will never understand where I am coming from. I have been pushed away & misunderstood by everyone, even by my parents.
  4. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    Sorry things are difficult, I felt the same way a few months ago, unfortunately many people including friends and family don't understand. Try to tell them as best you can and accept what help they are able to give. It's good you're here, people here understand and care, and that helped me a lot along with medication. What's going on for you?
  5. Cj May

    Cj May Member

    Wow. How did you get into my world Hell bound? That is exactly is "ME". I hate the woman looking back at me. I feel like I have given till there is nothing left to give. People don't understand me. If I don't help them, there is something wrong with me. But it feel like there is no one there for me. It hurts so much.
    HellBound likes this.
  6. HellBound

    HellBound New Member

    I know what you mean. I watched my family & the ones I kept close to me tear each other slowly apart these past 5 years. I did anything & everything I could to try to keep it & everyone from falling apart. I remember the nights I cried alone, the words & betrayal. I don't know why or how I got through as much as I did. I feel dead inside, but somehow still alive.
  7. Cj May

    Cj May Member

    never give up.
    HellBound likes this.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    *big hugs* I am sorry you are feeling this way. I too sometimes hate the person staring back at me but hey you must get on with it, I know that is easier said than done but you are more than welcome to talk to us all here about how difficult things are. Listen to pinks song ''fucking perfect'' that always cheers me up.

    Now back to the present, what can you do to make yourself feel just a little bit better today? Slowly you will get through this horrible patch in your life and we will be here to support you along the way.