The storm... which do you like best?

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Smashed-Up-Sanity, Jan 30, 2007.

?

which do you like best?

  1. Poem 1

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Poem 2

    1 vote(s)
    33.3%
  3. Poem 3

    2 vote(s)
    66.7%
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  1. Smashed-Up-Sanity

    Smashed-Up-Sanity Well-Known Member

    i have written 3 versions of the same poem...
    wondering what one you like best.

    1-
    Clouds are grey
    Almost balck
    Just like my dark day
    Black and grey
    Is all i see
    Black and grey
    is all i fell

    Every drop of rain
    Relieves pain
    Everydrop of rain
    Is like my blood
    Running down my skin

    Lightening strikes
    A silver colour
    Jagged at the edges
    Hits the ground
    Hears a sound
    Just like a scream

    A fire starts
    Runs wild and free
    Just like my blood
    Its got a crimson colour
    Just like my blood
    The fire runs wild and out of control
    The fire claims lives
    The fire claims mine

    --------------------------

    2-
    The clouds come over
    They are all closing in
    Memories are unforgivin
    Making me do a sin

    Rain drops falling
    Down my skin
    My death is calling
    Making me do a sin
    Lightening strikes
    Causes horror
    Silver lights up
    The dark night sky
    Silver with jagged adges
    Lightening stikes

    Sparks a fire
    A fire of red
    The fire spreads
    Uncontrolable
    Soon i shall be dead

    The storm is over
    The rain has stopped falling
    The clouds have cleared
    Is this heaven or hell?


    -----------------------------​

    3-
    There is always a cloud over me
    Making my world so dark
    So dark its almost black
    Except the occasional lightening strike
    I see an inch of light

    Wind is whirling around
    I try to stand my ground
    But these emotions get aholdof me
    Rageing
    Furiously
    Making my world complete mister

    Rain starts to fall
    Heavily upon me
    I shed a tear
    I live in fear
    Of showin emotion
    Emotion that is far to heavy
    For you
    And me to see

    Hear the thunder
    I hit the ground
    I begin to wonder
    Why you keep pushing me down
    Each time you push me
    You make me
    Fall harder
    You make me
    Scream louder
    You make me
    Hurt more and more
    Each time

    Lightening strikes
    Its like a flicker of silver lights
    The lightening strikes a tree
    Splits in in half
    A crimson red fire
    Comes poring out

    The tree is dead
    No time to save her now
    She was already withering away
    Anyway.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2007
  2. 3 is my personal favorite
     
  3. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I like the 3rd one too.

    TDM
     
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