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The Stress Might Kill Me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Forgotten_Man, May 20, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Wow only... a little over 8 hours for my peace of mind to slowly be ground into dust. It seems I am being affected by this sudden wave of stress that a lot of people here are experiencing. So lets see here... so much that needs to be done
    • I need to finish cleaning my apartment
    • I need to move the last bit of crap out of my apartment
    • I missed two calls from work last night
    • My system caused a mess at work this week
    • I am falling behind on all my deadlines at work
    • I need to unpack so my apartment is presentable for hanging out
    • I need to cancel my old phone service
    • I need to cancel my old gym membership
    • I wonder if Z will call
    • I wonder if Y really wants to spend time with me
    • I need to donate my old van
    • I am TIRED
    • I need to update my phones ringer
    • Will I be able to get Y to hold me
    • Should I find a therapist
    • I need go to the grocery store
    • Is that girl at work just playing with me
    • my depression is leaking out all over the place
    Just to list the stuff that comes to mind during my bathroom break. It makes me want to go fish out my <Self:edit tool> and <Self:edit method> later tonight. The thing that really pisses me off is how my girl troubles STILL trump my work problems. Easily the work problems seem like nothing at all. :depressed: God what is wrong with me?

    :'( Sorry all, I do not mean to be a bother.
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I think I need to add internet addiction to that list as Well. Then take a break from being on the net. Or not because again I am too weak.
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    most likely the depression making lack of motivation the culprit...
    I know that feeling so well...I'm also addicted to the internet...
    we're a good pair FM.....
  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    internet addict too...sometimes it is the only way i relate to the world.
    Please hang in there FM it is hard times right now....wish I could offer more but find myself with a list like yours...we will make it somehow, we are stronger than this depression..
    Hugs Bambi
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I like pairing up with people. Thanks for seeing this thread.

    :depressed: sorry I make such pathetic pleas for attention when my insecurity is at its highest. Thanks for seeing the thread.
  6. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    Hey FM......... I can sure relate to that list......though not the work part.........I don't have a job at the moment just a bit of voluntary work that is just as stressfull.....

    Have you had a therapist before? I was loathed to go see one, but in the end she definitely helped in some areas of my life..........take good care of yourself.........shaz.........
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @shazwackers: I loath the idea of going to a therapist because I know I will just waste her or his time. I think I am just to scared of being a hypocrite.
  8. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    Don't do this bro. I've been talking to you for a while now. You can't give up. My first suggestion would be therapy. Go ahead be picky about the therapist, sometimes it's hard to connect, but someone will get through to you.

    If the depression is leaking out all over the place it means it is time for release. I can understand talking to people online might not help, it did for me, but everyone is different.

    As far as things you need to do, don't just make a list that you put on your desk or something. Put alarms on your phone for a set time to the things you have to do. It's something I'm learning in my group therapy. You don't want to just make mental note to do something, set a schedule and do it!

    As far as work goes, leave the stress about your job at work. There is a reason we go home everyday, to get away from that.

    As far as Y and Z go. Call Z, if she doesn't answer or avoids it, it is time to move on. I know easier to say than do, but you can do it. Y is kind of the same thing, you need an answer. Ask her out with a set plan, not just asking if she wants to go do something, sometime. Obviously you have to ask her what day works for her, but make a plan, a restaurant then whatever else you think she might like.

    The one playing with you at work, ignore her. If she didn't really want anything the games will end.

    Get some help.
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @rx4brdm: I do not know how to go about getting a therapist... I do not know what kind of therapist I need.... seems to me like I need a psychologist or psychiatrist more than just a therapist.

    I have a to do list program on my phone... I am just too lazy to actually make entries into it... I know I need too, however it is hard watching all my time be eaten up by chores.

    Part of my job is to be on call. I get yelled at if I am not answering emergency emails... which I generally get 1 or 2 of during the night. I always fear that I am going to get called. My boss has even admitted that I get the most after hours service calls of anyone in the office. Even though I have worked and cut that down I still get a ridiculous amount. The only people who get more are the Sys admins.

    Z always answers is the problem. If she doesn't she calls back some what quickly, unless it is a weekend. I am trying to not call Z any more. Thus far I haven't she has called me. As for Y, I managed to schedule some hangout time with her this afternoon. So I feel a little better about that :sweat: I just need to move all my moving boxes around.

    I want to get help... and am scared too at the same time... what if the help does not work. What if I wuss out in going... how do I know if the therapist is worth his or her salt? All these questions run through my mind when I am thinking about getting help...
  10. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better FM..........I was terrified of getting professional help and I won't lie and say it's answered all my problems because it hasnt............but it definitely helped in some areas of my life....important areas.......so please give it a go.

    You can get to see a psychiatrist through your doctor.......I would reccommend that you see a psychiatrist before considering therapy as he/she can guide you after assessing you........all the best..............shaz
  11. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @shazwackers: That is another problem I have, I do not have a doctor yet... in the past I have never really gotten sick enough to warrent one. I always went to an urgent care. So I do not even know how to go about finding a good doctor :(

    I am scared that therapy won't help me in the areas that I feel are important to me. That is my biggest concern.
  12. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    A psychiatrist is gonna see you and listen to the problems, look at medical record and prescriptions, give you some meds and send you to a therapist. If a therapist gets you to start telling them the issues pretty quick, they are doing their job, every one I have been too, the first session is going to be listening to the problems. They may bring up some ideas, but mostly they want to learn the issues. I know it's hard, but you have to open up, if you don't feel comfortable with that one, call the shrink and ask for another.

    As far as your job goes, that sucks. Sorry to hear you can't leave it at work.

    Now on to Y and Z, the decision is which one appeals to you more, not just right now, but with a future. Focus on one, the other is just a friend.

    I truly understand the lazy thing, it is a real push to get me to do anything I don't want to do. You really need to push it though. Once the crap is done, you don't have to do it again. Then you got more time for the things you want to do.
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @rx4brdm: It just seems like there is so little time. The depression is making me need more than 5 hours of sleep a night. So little time to go to the doctor and then the psychatrist and then the therapist. I will try though... I want to try anyway.

    I do not know which one appeals to me more. I like both of them a lot and I am afraid of losing either one. :'( I just cannot choose... I want one of them to choose me.

    I will push through... I have 8 gundam models just lying in my closet right now. I just need to buckle down... might help keep my mind off of this crap
  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :console: :hiya:
  15. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    Well, a doctor is going to tell you need more than 5 hours of sleep too. Lack of sleep can cause depression or make it worse.

    My visits with the shrink were once a month, now they are once every 4 months. With the therapist, it was once every 2 weeks and now it's once a month.

    I'm glad to that you want to try to get help, it's a step in the right direction

    Ouch, tough situation with the ladies. When you went out with Y, did you set up another "date" with her?
  16. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @IV2010::hiya: :hug:

    @rx4brdm: I used to function just fine on 5 hours of sleep. Those were the good old days.

    Geez... I am going to have to take notes if my trips to the therapist are psychiatrist are that far spread out. Provided I can even suck up my pride and go in. What do I do? Just go to a doctor and say "Hey can you put me in touch with a psychiatrist? I am thinking of killing myself?"

    She had to postpone our "date" till today, Sunday, she could not get the car. I generally do not set up another "date" until I talk to her again and get an opinion of how much fun she had on the last date. Hopefully she will not flake out on this "date" either. She makes it hard on me, being so enthusiastic and then flaking out...
  17. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    You don't have to mention suicide, it probably gets it going faster though.:lol!:
    You may have a provider that just tells you to call the psych department. I told my doc that I had not had feelings like this since before my surgery. I had mentioned at that time, that the thought of death or suicide did not bother me at all.

    Ohhh, flakes, I hate 'em. She says she can't get the car,"Well, let me pick you up. What's a good time?" Put her on the spot, if there is another excuse, then time to try someone else, imho.

    As far as waiting to find out if she liked the date before asking her out again, you can do it that way. Don't wait very long!
  18. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I do not want to have the doctor freak out and put me in the hospital. At the same time I do not want to dance around the topic. I am also worried my insurance won't cover it.

    I offered her a ride once, she just said we'll see. We still hung out yesterday. I had fun, it is always hard to tell if she is having fun. We did not have much conversation. However, whenever I looked at her she smiled, and she laughed at my jokes. She told me she had fun. I said we should do it again and she agreed. I am assuming if she didn't want to she would have said "we'll see".

    I would love to move onto another girl who seems more interested. However, I lack the social skills to meet women. Even still my insecurity would probably get in the way of me seeing any interest she might have in me.
  19. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sounds like you're doing well with the girl FM.....she sounds like she's just a very quiet person herself....:hiya::hug:
  20. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @IV2010: I guess I am doing good... although my insecurity tells me otherwise.
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