The STUPID things STUPID people say...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by IAD121212, Sep 17, 2010.

  1. IAD121212

    IAD121212 Well-Known Member

    Well, I had a date a couple weeks ago. This woman was a psychiatric nurse of all things! A total coincidence that I met her (on a dating site...)

    Anyway, we'd been texting each other and so on. One Thursday afternoon, I had a text from her saying she was feeling down. I was in work at the time, getting ready to leave for the day. I texted her to suggest she meets me after work. I wanted to chat to her in person and see if I could help her with whatever was getting her down...

    So... after a lot of texts and a lot of walking on my part, we eventually met up. We had coffee and talked for a couple of hours. Turns out her problems were mundane financial ones, but still... We got on well, had a lot in common etc... yadda yadda yadda. I told her of my fragile mental state etc and it didn't put her off or anything.

    So, we parted and agreed to meet again on the Saturday. Friday came (I had the day off work just like today) and we texted and chatted online etc... Friday night came and I was feeling a bit jittery... Yep... you know the feeling...

    Got up Saturday morning, the day of The Big Date, and it felt like I had died inside. You all know the feeling I'm sure. I just wanted to forget the world and go back to bed... I wanted to die.

    I texted her something like... I don't think I'll ever be able to do normal stuff. I don't think I deserve a normal happy relationship...

    Her reply (you'll LOVE this): Get a grip! Are you meeting me later or not?

    THAT was from a psychiatric nurse remember. I pity her patients. FFS...
     
  2. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Yeah I can see where you are coming from. But she can also mean it as, don't think like that! Come lets go catch a movie.

    It's difficult to understand tones with people through txts. She might understand and be trying to say that you dont need to feel that stress when you are with her.

    Granted she could have added a smile after the Get a grip part, and not put in the "or not" part. But I don't who she is.

    What's important is, what did you say and are you going to go out?
     
  3. IAD121212

    IAD121212 Well-Known Member

    I texted her back - 'Get a grip'? That's on a par with 'Cheer up' and 'Pull yourself together'...

    It went downhill from there. I sent her a rambling email. She replied with a shorter email. I said goodbye and that was that. Another potential source of happiness ended before it's begun. Hey ho... :badday:
     
  4. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    :( that's too bad.

    Can I suggest something, the next time you feel down and someone throws something similar to that and still wants to spend time with you, focus on the spending time with that person and enjoying the moment(s) with them. It might help you have a bit of time away from what is making you feel down by realizing that this person(s) wants to spend time with you.

    :)
     
  5. IAD121212

    IAD121212 Well-Known Member

    Erm... next time I'm down I'll make sure to tell myself to think rationally... :irony:

    And... the thing that is making me feel down is located between my ears... Hard to get away from that...
     
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow..at least you saw her true colors before you got too attached....to think she's suppose to help depressed people and, can you imagine, suicidal people....

    sounds like she needs therapy herself...wow...
     
  7. Monsieur

    Monsieur Well-Known Member

    She's probably one of those jaded nurses who have completely dissociated their work lives from their personal lives. Sometimes it keeps them sane themselves, but their ability to empathize and care for patients suffers no doubt. Don't worry about her, indeed it was quite a stupid thing for her to say...
     
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Dear Steve first of all she had no right to answer you like that and being a Psych nurse how sad,it shows in a sad way she's in the wrong field if anything.Sadly you got to know here true self that way or had to endure that at all.
     
  9. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    It seems she still wanted to get to know you even though you were depressed. She said are we still hanging out. I agree with the other person. You should have focused on the positive that she still wanted to see you. Not on the negative and when you got together then asked her about. There is always lost communication between texts because you can't see the facial expressions someone is using when texting. It could have been harmless and you blew it out of proportion pissing her off or she could have meant it how it sounded. Now you'll never know because you automatically assumed the text was meant as a negative instead of a positive.
     
  10. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    "get a grip!" lol if thats not the most tactful thing to say to someone who tells you theyre in a fragile mental state
     
  11. Reluctant

    Reluctant Member

    Maybe she didn't want to be burdened with that.
     
  12. transitive

    transitive Member

    I'll reiterate what's been said and add a spliff...

    We all know that the actual intention of words can be misconstrued through the internet and text...

    in her defense, I doubt she meant it that way, and you may have over-reacted. She was most likely trying to instill some confidence back in you, and I can't say I blame her for acting the way she did in light of receiving that type of message so early in a relationship.

    To twist things a bit, from her perspective, she could have taken your message as apprehensiveness, and overreacted herself.

    ... also, her job title should have no merit on her personal life. To think someone should have to surround themselves with their work and their demeanor at work all the time would drive anyone nuts.

    If it's still on your mind, maybe try reconnecting with her and talking the situation out.