I'm starting to get scared. I've been suffering with suicidal feelings for a week now, and I've been fixtated on death for quite a while. I don't see any point to living right now. I don't have a suicide plan yet. My angry/manic triggers are frequent, quick, and violent... I'm not myself. I shout, scream, rant within a few seconds of "reciving" any slightest trigger. I've been depressed for a good part of a week. I had a major trigger- Tuesday, which most of you know is when I came forward about one of my best friends being suicidal... and I haven't talked to him since. Oh, he's alive, yes, I see him. He doesn't see me. I've just been in a state of hopelessness and worthlessness, made much worse by Tuesday. And I'm stressing out; I'm supposed to be doing a huge essay right now, but I can't. It's not procrastination anymore: I can't concentrate. I don't see the point to doing it. I don't care about my grades or anything anymore. I know I'm losing it. My friend was my support- he kept me sane, but now he's "gone", and I'm taking that very hard. It's way increased my suicidal thoughts/feelings and my preoccupation with death. It's made me very suceptible to the slightest triggers, angry or otherwise. I've been checking bipolar symptoms online for about an hour. I've pretty much got every one. I don't know. Help, I'm scared. I have lost interest in everything- and I mean everything: music, friends, spanish... living... I don't see the point to living, I don't want to live to see the future, and even making it to October or next week seems impossible. Someone help.