The thoughts just won't go away

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by notalways, Dec 26, 2011.

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  1. notalways

    notalways Member

    I am bipolar, and taking several medications for the disorder. They got rid of my mania but I am still depressed all the time. I just can't get the suicidal thoughts so go away. I try ignoring them, distracting myself, being positive planning for the future...but it I keep coming back to how much easier it would all be. The biggest argument people always have is that I would be hurting the people who care about me so much if I did it, and all I can think is that its not fair I have to suffer for them to be happy. I don't want to feel this way, I am doing everything I should be to make these feelings stop, I take me medicine, I go to counciling, I even moved in with family so there is always someone around. But it just does not seem to change things.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I don't believe in trying to talk someone out of suicide. I think that pretty much no one wants to die though, they just don't want to be in pain anymore and don't see any other way. For most people, there are ways to get better if you try.

    You might want to try doing a 1/2 hour of light aerobic activity every day, if you are not already. just enough to break a very light sweat. it's getting cold now, so maybe a brisk walk or do something indoors.

    I don't know what your diet is like, but some changes might be helpful. fresh, lightly cooked whole foods have been helpful for me.

    acupuncture and chinese herbal medicine can be very helpful, but often expensive. you might want to check out the book that's in my signature.

    if you do these things, I'm confident that you can get significantly better

    hope that things get better soon!
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Sorry that you are struggling long have you been on this medication because some times it take a little while before they start working for the depression side of things ?
    Can you talk to your dr about the medication maybe he/she can give you something else
    You are doing the right thing by seeking counseling hopefully it will start to help you
    you are in my thoughts
  4. TJ

    TJ Staff Alumni

    hey there ,

    often when we are in so much pain we think that taking ourselves outta this world is the only way to deal with the pain . i know all to well what it is like to fight a daily battle to stay alive and not take myself out i have suffered with major depression along with other stuff for many years now. im not gonna sit here and tell u why you should do this or that it would hurt others because what u are feeling is so real to you and i don't want to undermine that or neglect those feelings. its important to recognize those feelings for what they are , they are feelings and thoughts but no more than that unless you act out on them.

    for me when i get to the "bottom of the pit" so to speak i just use my "recovery book" i have made for myself , its a book of "tools" that i find helpful when im in this place. ranging from a page of distractions to favorite quotes and also hopes and dreams i had as a child . along with this i use the forum - chat mainly to help in the hardest times there's always people around somewhere that you can talk to , and if there's no one in chat , post on the forum ... i will also offer my PM on the forum or if you see me in chat your welcome to message me just to chat :)

    use what u have to get thru , its good that ur living with family , can u talk to them at all ? and if all else fails keep posting here and let others help you thru

    take it easy and take care

    Kia Kaha - Be strong

    est xxx
  5. notalways

    notalways Member

    I have been on different combinations on medication consistently for over a year now, they have changed my mood stabilizer a lot but the others have stayed the same for a while now. Pretty sure they have had time to take there effect on my system. I get a lot worse than I am now, this is actually me doing pretty good.

    I just took some extra of my anti anxiety since that stuff if immediately acting, hopefully that will take the edge off of tonight. I have no idea how I am going to go to work tomorrow.
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