The time has come...........

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Kishin, Aug 31, 2009.

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  1. Kishin

    Kishin Member

    to say goodbye to all my friends and family. (like they care) I have done this now (this being "living") for almost 40 years and I have had enough. It won't be today nor tomorrow but the end of my world is coming, I can feel it deep in my heart. The end is near for me and await it with open arms. I told my one and only friend this morning that my time has come, and she was very sad (she cried). She should not be crying she should be happy. happy to know that i will no longer be suffering. I had to lie and tell her it was just words. but my heart knows the truth. she told me to hang on things will get better. But how long does one have to wait for things to get better. Isn't 40 years long enough. do i have to wait another 40 before i am allowed to end this misery?? why is it so important that i keep going, what really is it going to matter? I am no one special, I have no special talent or anything worth saving. I could see it being a waste if i had amazing contribution to add to the world but i don't. i am just wasting space and air that could be used for some one more worthy then i. it clear and simple really. the world will not necessarily be a better place with out me but it sure as hell will not be a better place with me hear.
  2. fweeps

    fweeps Staff Alumni

    Its really weird because im feeling exactly like you at the moment but something is urging me to tell you to not do anything drastic. Find a good doc, therapist, i dunno but like i said...i feel the urge to tell you you are important.

  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I don't know. But I do know that killing yourself will only make things worse. Perhaps for you and most assuredly for those who love you.

    Again...I don't know. Are you a relgious man at all? If not...might want to consider it. Many people have suffered their whole lifes, and were greatful to do knowing that when they did die, they would come to the Glory of God. Why didnt they end it sooner by their own hand? Prolly didnt want to tick off God.

    Manybe life is a test. Life is full of challenges. Besides you don't know what tomorrow may bring.

    It matters to that friend of yours, your parents, your siblings your aunts and uncles and cousins and well everyone who loves you. Consider this. You may have a younger cousin or perhaps a neice or nephew. One day when they get to be 20 or something and they find thier lives arent going well, they may very well suicide, because afterall, you did.

    You are unique among all of the worlds people. What if God was readying you for this moment, to turn your life around, and once done so, he brings a woman into your life. And you end up having kids. You never know.

    You are the most important and worthy person here. Because you are deserving to be happy and you are honest with your pain.
  4. Bluerose99

    Bluerose99 Member

    Everyone that's posting is giving amazing advice.

    Hold on. Talk about it. I'm here if you want to talk. Feel free to message me.

    We care.
  5. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    Everyone is special. Every. Single. Person. That's what makes the human race so beautiful in a way, there is so much uniqueness, diversity. Love, hate, kindness, brutality, sorrow, jow, thoughtfulness, carelessness; everythingbis there. Every person is a unique combination of those things and many, many more. You ARE special, and you just as much deserve to breath the air as anyone else
  6. Kishin

    Kishin Member

    thank all of you for your support and kind words to try to help. i have been thinking alot today and have come up with this desicion. i will keep going with my miserable life and see if it gets better (which i doubt very very much). if it does not by december 31 2009, my new years resolution will be the end of my world. it is going to take a "miricale" to change my mind. I know i am to mad to go on, but for all of you and my friend i will give it til then. i will honestly try to change what i can. i really honestly don't care if any thing changes cause i do wish to die. maybe i will be taken naturally and will not have to do it on my own. but i don't think that is going to happen. so til december 31. and again thank you for trying. :)
  7. kuika

    kuika Active Member

    try to make it to 12/21/2012, the mayans say some crazy shits gonna go down on that date. some say the end of everything, but i dont believe it, i think our consciousness will get raised and we'll take a giant step forward as a species.

    once and if i can get my shit together, thats what im waiting for. In a way thats the nice thing about suicide vs other illnesses,you can always control your end date.

    so think about waiting for that, you can always revisit things then, but you never know stuff might get better. different reason to hang on to be sure, but you never know.

  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    You could always go and get help. Meds may help you.
  9. Kishin

    Kishin Member

    Thank you every one for trying to help. I know what needs to be done and when to do it. I am done with all of it. the lies, the false hopes. I don't even feel scared any more. i feel quite happy that i am finally setting a goal and sticking with it. I thank all of you for talking with me and helping me through some hard times. But it is how it shall be. I am quite content with what i have decided and look forward to my last few months. I have never been more happy.
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