.. that no one ever discusses what it might mean to each person who uses it. Richard Dawkins derides religion (in my opinion, quite rightly), but he never asks what people mean by the word 'God', which is daft as this is what underpins the existence of religion. Albert Einstein reportedly believed in God, but I daresay his concept of God was rather different from that of some politicised American right winger who thinks the planet is 4000 years old. I posted something else on here a few nights ago but can't find it.. could we have a 'my posts' list please? Anyway, whether or not anyone should decide to commit suicide.. all sorts of thoughts pass through one's mind. The implications for those left behind for example. But for you as an individual, there's a more fundamental question. What happens afterwards? If anything. I ponder this question a lot. I contemplate suicide, but what's stopped me are my teenage sons, and a realisation that I don't have a sufficiently coherent knowledge of what happens after I die. We all elect to believe in one or other of the standard strands of thought... there isn't anything, or there's some variant of afterlife... but no one actually knows of course. And, being of a scientific bent myself, I'm suspicious of perspectives based on mere faith. But that's not to say that empirical evidence for any phenomena is the only valid form of evidence. If we ponder these questions, in my experience anyway, an intuitive understanding of the true nature of things starts to appear. But it's never a perspective that's communicable. It's a sort of internal understanding of the nature of things that can't be described. It's a very private and personal thing. Even if you want to communicate it, you can't. If you've ever experienced such a degree of perception - and it's a very quiet and gentle thing - then hold onto it. Don't make the mistake of disparaging it because it's not mainstream. Have faith in your quiet, personal insights. You just may be plugging into something much bigger than the machine that seems to be defeating you. How you map this insight to a practical way forward in life is a different question. And it's one I'm wrestling with now. Unemployed and seeking isn't a good combination. But you're not alone. Think about what the world needs and where it needs good and wise effort. Exploding population, climate change, failing and corrupt economic systems et al. See how much opportunity there is for good work in this maelstrom. Easy to say I know. I'm struggling, and haven't found a way yet, hence my presence on here. But at least such a perspective provides a framework to compare yourself against. Perhaps the problem is one of your perception of yourself and of your personal value. Seeing a world that doesn't make sense and being unable to find a you-shaped slot in it. But there's so much need... it's not you that has the wrong perspective, it's the way the world is being run that's wrong, and perhaps that's why you can't see a place for you. This isn't you fault. This requires you, and your courage and conviction, to rise up and be something new. Maybe that's why you're here. Maybe the God thing, be it an entity or a universal force, or a reflection of just what is, requires you to be in order for it to move forward. Maybe you have, in fact, a greater purpose than those around you who seem happy but whose apparent happiness is based upon illusory material stuff. Maybe you belong to a purer breed... one with an intuitive insight. Maybe. Ponder. Perhaps there's solace and a reason for being available to you in that pondering. That reflection on truth. And remember, what's past can't influence what's happening now (it's already done its damage), and what's to come can only be imagined. And if you live in Warwickshire and want to get hammered in company, let me know.