The typical teen stuff when it comes to being bisexual.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Aphorism, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    This is the issue. I am sexually attracted to men and women, but have only really ever been emotionally attracted to girls. All of my true and lasting crushes have been on girls. A lot of my friends know that I am at least bisexual, but for the most part I don't like telling people--because it's not their fucking business. Not to mention, I often simply feel objectified when I tell people I'm attracted to girls. I've only ever had one short, tumultuous relationship with a boy.

    Being attracted to girls has only caused me pain and angst. I have some hope that when I'm older, it'll be easier to meet more mature girls that are actually out. This might still be an issue, but for now, it hurts that I can't control my feelings. I am afraid I'm falling for another one of my friends. She's amazing, and even though I've spent five days away from her, she was the only one I could think about.

    This would all be okay, but now guys are starting to ask me out and I can't handle it. I just get anxious thinking about how there are these guys hitting on me, I like my friend that's a straight girl (AS HARD AS I TRY TO CRUSH THOSE FEELINGS), and that overall my love life has been mostly unrequited crushes.

    I am just anxious, anxious, anxious, and I can't control it. It makes me want to die, sometimes, honestly.
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I wish I could give advice about how to deal with the feelings as regards to how to control in a positive way, how to approach them, and what to do about them. Unfortunately I cannot do any of these but am hopeful others here may be able to help.
    I would like to point out though that you may be in a far less lonely situation than you might think. I think the vast majority of people feel very very uncomfortable when somebody they are not interested in "hits" on them - you are receiving attention that you do not want and it is difficult to say "sorry, not interested" in a polite way, particularly since it is human nature that when a person feels rejected the reflex response is to say or do something back to make the person rejecting them feel bad also. Keep in mind, this is the same I believe for most interactions -M/F , F/F , M/M all equally. Likely somebody not so many many years removed from the dating scene could give better advice on politely declining when somebody expresses interest to reduce your anxiety.
    I am not sure how old you are , but will agree with your assertion as you get to an age where more people are more open and out about their sexuality life will be a little simpler. In the mean time, once again, I am not certain that sexual orientation changes the fact that it is easy to alienate a good friend when turning or trying to turn it from a friendship to a relationship and you can find a hundred stories on here about long term unrequited love or attraction to a friend. It may be more difficult in your given situation, but none of these problems are caused by your sexual orientation in my opinion. They are just problems we all have or have had so try not to put "blame" of it on yourself or your situation, there is nothing simple about relationships for anybody. Does your situation make it easier? Of course not, but it does not make you any different than everybody else either so you are not alone.

    Hopefully others have more targeted advice for you

    Take Care and Be Safe