To me, my mother feels like the ugliest person I have ever met. I know I sound harsh, but that is how I feel about her. She sucks the life out of me. Because of her, I just don't enjoy my life anymore. She is like the center of it. Every little thing about my life is about her. I don't want to hate her, but I feel like I already do. It feels like she doesn't care a bit about me though she claims otherwise. She is just too much. I feel like she is going to be the death of me. She drives me totally nuts. Being around her feels so exhausting. Unfortunately, at the moment, I am still trying to get my life back on track. I am still dependent on my parents. The truth is I am planning to run away from home and never come back (as soon as I finish college). I am going to hide from her (and the rest of the family: my aunts, uncles, and cousins). They are just hell materialized. I just don't want to see them ever again. I feel like cutting them off of my life when the time comes. (PS: I suspect my mother has Bipolar Disorder. . . but what about me? Am I just going to tolerate her for the rest of my life? Her lashing out at me?) I just feel so sick and tired of my life. . . sick and tired of everything and everyone. . . that I feel like committing suicide sooner or later. I feel so trapped. I don't remember being truly happy around my family - ever. I feel like I should always watch what I will say and do. It is nuts. When I was young, I used to put them on pedestals, but now they appear a bunch of hypocrites and frauds. These days I just found them disgusting. I feel guilty saying bad stuff about them, but I just can't take it anymore. I feel so disillusioned. What should I do?