the universe sucks

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Wastingecho, Apr 5, 2010.

  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i came to this site in february because i was getting ready to die

    the only reason i am still alive is because a few people managed to convince me that i had some value

    i still believe that i am a complete failure all around - i can't work, i can't take care of my family yet i am still here

    but now i'm losing some of the very people who saved me

    people who cared, people with jobs that they love - that make a difference

    one has set a date and i despair that she will not change her mind

    the other is sitting in her home, weak and dehydrated and will not call for help because she simply cannot take the pain any longer - i'm talking to her as this is happening and i am powerless to help but i will not leave her because no one should be alone like that

    my heart is breaking at the injustice of this universe that the world is going to lose these two incredible souls while i am still breathing
  2. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    i dont really know what to say.... i came here ready to die too, and people here have managed to get me to stick around. ive tried helping people, and thats been a flop. and although i swore not to get close to anyone here, i have. and now im afraid that i, that we, are going to lose them. for me, there is one person in particular that i know who has been through so much, is in so much pain, and cant take it anymore. i understand wanting to end that. i do. but i dont know what to say to her, i dont want her to leave. i may just be being selfish... but even though i feel like i shouldnt be alive, for some reason her and the other people on here have to keep living? ugh. so confusing.

    and ps. echo, youre awesome, and a lot of help, the universe would miss you if you left too :hug:
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    funny this is the only universe here i see people really care I hope yur friend sees your compassion and holds on I hate when people leave i hate it so much it hurts Please stay strong please a new day will bring you new hope okay please.
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    wasting echo, not being able to work and not being able to care for your family doesn't define you. you're unwell.

    and those people saying they have a date, and in slow death are in their own hell, and i bet you've done all you've could. you're worth as much as the people you help here.

    it's heartbreaking to hear you think so badly of yourself yet you see others lives here, as having more importance than yours.

    you are in an incredible amount of pain too.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you hang on too because you are important here and you do matter so much to the people that love you You give so much so be kind to you too okay see just how kind a person you are and treat yourself as you treat others here. Hold on okay i know it is hard seeing the pain around you but try to heal you first okay get help for you so you can be with us a long time.
  6. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Echo, I'm sorry for your pain.

    There are times when we have done all we can. The rest will take it course.

    Focus on you, and your friends will see your strength, and possibly get themselves some help.
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry echo....
    I hope your friends change their minds about dying..
    you are doing a good thing supporting them either way...
  8. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry about your friends. The fact that you will not leave them shows what a beautiful soul you have. You can only do so much and the rest is left up to them. Please take care of you because you deserve it. Don't let your disability define you. You are a soul of infinite worth. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be here. I keep saying it and I know by now you are probably tired of hearing it but I will keep saying it because you need to do it: Be gentle with yourself. Take care dear soul and let those who love you take care of you. (hug)