The viscious cycle

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymuss, Apr 22, 2010.

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  1. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    I am no longer a member that really wants to suicide but i do feel depression very ofter. How can I be happy when ive never had a date and all the woman i see everywhere are deeply beautifull. Is this why i have to live to see god nature and be lonely and sad from isolation and rejection.

    I have tried dating sites, chatting, facebook, bars! A big zero I cannot attract a musquito...
    I dress well, speak inteligently , smile, make jokes, nothing works. I have a true curse. I'm 24 , and all my life i told myself I can't wait to grow up cause woman will finally notice i'm smart, and here i am a looser that feels sorry for himself.

    I live with introverted people and im extraverted . Everytime i speak they tell me to shout up and that im not normal. I feel crazy in this hous it's like no one understand me . I just want everyone to be happy around me and i get rejected. As a result i'm scared to walk in my house (at my parents). I'm scared of my voice. I'm scared of woman. Time is passing and im sick and tired of not having what i want. If I think of suicide it's because i don't know what more i can do. I'm trying to start an accounting personnal small home office business. But in my free time the loneliness is making me feel so baddd inside... and pure chaos and destruction. I get so jealous and i dont understand what other have that i dont. Im just really neglected , unlucky ! I think that i have better valu than most of the people who screw around everyday but here i am on a suicidal board...Life is just a place for idiot capitalist egoist people. Im the naked communist type. I dont see a difference between people thats why i always expected someone to love me. turns out that even nature as cursed me...
    now beautifull woman will be everywhere with skinny , fat , ugly man and ill be like what's wrong with me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really this is the question everyman should figure out at one point of is life. I need to figure it out fast b4 its 2 late...and ill just give up and kill myself
     
  2. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    Nature does not discriminate and curse particular people :) (well I think it does in the movies)

    You have to be comfortable in your own skin. If you're not, she will know. You don't sound comfortable to me. You sound troubled. You say you're scared. You say you don't fit in. You say that you're conflicted and a communist living in a capitalist world. You say you're jealous a lot. If I was the opposite sex, I would steer well clear of you too. She wants stability.

    Be more accomodating. Find a way to live on your own or with roommates. Living with your parents is another reason she will avoid you. You need to be happy first. When you're content with yourself and relaxed, she will be relaxed and attracted to these qualities.

    That's what I think. I'm 8 years older than you and have never had a gf. But I am conflicted, just like you. I am a boat with a leaky hull. A ship with a broken sail. And the anchor is not anywhere to be seen. Other people know that I am not comfortable with myself.

    So I think I would know.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2010
  3. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    when you approach a girl. treat her friend at first then let the time past. time will tell, if there is something more than friendship =)
     
  4. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    that's the thing i don't know if i can have friends anymore!
    I get rejected by everyone . I'm a loud honnest talker but in the house i live (with my parents) if I speak my mind ill have my brother and dad telling me to shut the hell up all the time...That's why im very scared when i go out to talk and i'm shy. I feel like i can,t say a word cause they critizize me on anything i say. for example if i go speak with my brother who locks himself in his room . My dad comes cause he gets scared we will fight one another . I yell at him telling him that it's not this way a family is suppose to act. A brother should'nt lock himself because he hates someone (me). When I speak with my brother he always tell me i'm wierd no one would like me , i'm different, and even crazy sometimes. each time i speak with him it's about games, hockey or whatever he never opens the door and rejects me. When I speak with my mother too, my dad gets in the way and starts telling me to shut up because he thinks anything i say cause a problem in the house. I'm really tired of this situation i speak to nobody because i'm sure no one appreciates me . I know i have issues like I had a deviated septum surgery and a turbinectomy made too me by infraction (cause the doctor lied to me about the turbinectomy), and i'm not sure if this is why im getting rejected (maybe because i dont' breathe well and lost confidence cause of that). I also have allergies on top but im waiting for a test to prove dust, ragweed etc.. All i know is im getting use to beiing alone but it's like i'm killing the person inside of me just cause others don't want me to express myself...
     
  5. bono

    bono Well-Known Member

    Getting a girlfriend won't fix your problem, it will only create more problems.

    You need to sit down and take a good look at your life, and learn to love yourself. Changing your perspection of yourself + the world is the only that will bring you hapiness. (ie) Depression + suicide are problems over-whemingly experienced by the educated world. Not the abused + starving third world children. Because the media paints you a false picture of how great the world could be. Its changes you perspective of the world to show you everything your missing out on.

    On that thought congrats world on creating the internet. Now misery can be spread to previously inaccessible regions of the world :)
     
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