The war isn't what is going to kill me.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by trekkiegirl123, Jan 12, 2012.

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  1. I am 14 so young... I was born in America and lived here Until I was 10. Then I went to Iraq, I am a orphan and my adoptive parents were military. My mom a transolater and my dad a solider. They went a day before me, when I arrived I was informed that their SUV was blown up by a IED, nobody made it. I know was a orphan again on a military base. I was taken in quickly by a Arab orphanage for I was not high priority to get to the states.

    I knew Arabic from my mom and made friends in the village quickly... I was getting over my parents deaths. One day at 12 years old I was with my best friend Iffat when a man came out of a store shooting at some soldiers behind us. They hit Iffat, she died in my arms. I went back to the orphanage and saw her empty bed and I still cry. The next day after 3 years of delay was sent home.

    How do these soldiers do it, I see those soldiers cry, I see them so hurt and scared. How are they willingly there. I can't walk down a street with out being on guard that i will be shot. I want to die I can be with my mom and dad and Iffat. I can't hear a pop with out seeing Iffat's lifeless body on the street. I see ghosts and these are only some.

    I just want the pain of war to stop,

    شكركم على القراءة لي حكاية.
    (Thank you for reading my tale)
  2. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    i really wish that this war never happened it has torn so many lives apart and so many lives have been lost for nothing im so sorry that you have had to suffer the way you have
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear Trekkiegirl,

    I am sorry you have had to go through these times of turmoil and despair....I cannot imagine the devastation you have experienced. It is a pleasure to welcome you to these support forums, and I wish you emotional healing....take good care. :hug:

  4. WishICould

    WishICould Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you've had the worse start in life imaginable and I wish I could give you a hug right now. War is terrible. It is a waste of so many lives. I find it inexcusable that you wasn't shipped out immediately on your arrival and wisked off to a safe environment. Unfortunately, sometimes war is a necessity and cannot be avoided. When lives are at risk of so many the few may have to be sacrificed. Soldiers know this and believe they fight for a just cause to save those in need of their help and hopefully make a better world with less suffering. Of course, depending on how people see what is for the best means there are soldiers on both sides. It is sad for anyone to die in war whether they are soldiers or civillians. I can only imagine the images you have seen and count myself fortunate to have lived in a war free zone. I hope you get the help and counselling you so desperately need and go on to live a better life with a stable future. Take care
  5. TimeIsNow

    TimeIsNow Member

    Reading your story just brought tears to my eyes! I'm sorry for everything that has happened to you kid. Your parents wouldn't want you to take your own life. I know that they want you to be the woman that they know you can be. Your strong kid, I know you are. I'm here for you. This nightmare we are living through just makes us stronger to live our dream. Just LIVE kid. Your parents are always with you. We'll see our loved ones, but its not our time.
  6. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I hope that some day, we will all be forgiven for the harm that we do.

    I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
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