What has to happen to motivate positive steps? I live in the past while the present passes me by. The memories of the happy life i had haunt me. I;m a shell of a human being. I idealise about suicide because its the ultimate escape. I've tried but couldvt push myself to do it, the rational mind kicks in damm it. Ive had it with myself I truely think im a waste of air. cant see a way out its been too long like this. i wish i could be saved but i cant save myself i just really have no drive to do anything.