She was probably just blowing off steam, seems like something my mom would've said too. Honestly, I still don't like talking to my parents to this day, and I don't know if I want to visit them for Thanksgiving. Is that bad? I mean, I enjoy their company once in awhile, I just don't see the point of getting together with the grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, who I have nothing in common with, just to eat a big meal in celebration of... well, our ancestors stole the native americans' land, then killed them off. Not much of a holiday imo.
So, it seems your mother doesn't understand your condition well at all. Remember she's still trying to help you because she loves you (I assume) even if she has no clue.. it appears her intentions are good. I mean, most 'shy' people who don't have real cases of anxiety and social phobia can overcome their fears by "being tough" so she probably only meant what was best. However, that's obviously not going to help, and I know from experience how bad it can be..
If you can, it would be helpful to see a therapist who can confirm any conditions you have through testing, and if you ask, they may be able to provide you with some papers or even books about your health conditions. If you're going to be living with your mother for awhile, it's important that you show her the papers from the psychologist who evaluated you, and make sure she understands how to help you. It's not going to get any easier, I wish I could say it will, but it's only going to get harder when you become independent and must work.
If you can find some friends who understand you well or have similar problems, that will help a lot. I'm not going to lie, it will be a slow process, but when you can find loving friends/ companion you'll heal quickly. It's all about replacing bad experiences/ memories with positive, and learning to think optimistically again. Plus you might be able to move somewhere else and split rent with friends if it bothers you to be with your mom. If you're suicidal now, you really need a therapist to discuss this with, and you should tell your mother or whoever is taking care of you exactly how you feel. You have the right to enjoy life just like anyone else, and to feel healthy and happy again.
:blub: