The Whole Story Part 1

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheFamilyLoser, Feb 15, 2011.

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  1. TheFamilyLoser

    TheFamilyLoser New Member

    I searched a website that I could use to help me with my drama I have recently encountered because I have been in fear of the thoughts that have entered my mind. These thoughts throughout my life have come and gone. I have always dealt with things on my own for several years and usually overcome them or fix the problem myself. The sad truth is, every year I get older and face depression, the worse it has been getting.
    My newest issue is the loss of my job, how I lost it, and betrayal by who I thought, people that cared about me. In the past I would be creative to get over depression. I hope I am able to stick to my word and complete my story for all of you to read, possibly comment on, and/or show your experiences that may be so similar.
    All of my posts are going to start out with "The Whole Story" and I will seperate them with Parts.
    Maybe someone will read this and come to me and tell me i will never have to worry about Money, Love, or Power ever again and hand over a billion dollars. :cool: That would be so cool.
    Anyway, I am going to begin my work here on Suicide Forum, oneday put all the parts together in hopes to share and even better help somebody else out. (Hence, what I assume the people of Suicide Forum assume by allowing posts~so that we all may learn from each other and stop these crass thoughts when they come)
    I feel really good at the moment. I created an account on this website and browsed around the site to get acquainted. I read my first post by a 19 year old girl. I thought to myself, "You're only 19". her story made me feel a little better. is this true? The misery of others makes us feel better about our own struggles? It's a sick world, isn't it?:sigh:

    I was born a pretty messed up baby. I was under-developed and was a hospital miracle for the conditoin i was in. i had no skin on the sides of my upper body and had skin grafting done. I had to live in a stable sterile environment. I was not even a year old and do not remember any of this.
    I also had a wild left eye and apparently, so I have been told, underwent eye operations also.
    To this day I have a lazy left eye that drifts when I am tired or overwhelmed. I grew up in childhood not being able to ever feel comfortable taking off my shirt or looking people straight in the face. it's something I have always had to live with. Even to this day, I deal with this in every personal and professional relationship I encounter.
    I am one of those people you may look twice at if you notice. I go through life hiding. I carry big secrets.

    :to be continued:
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    welcome! i look forward to getting to know you. hope you keep posting.
     
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