the whole truth

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by tweetypie, Apr 15, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    so how does it go ?

    hi my name is shadow and im an addict

    Ive been clean from speed for many years ive taken extasy and tried cannabis but my capacity for speed was phenominal.....i took so much im surprised im still standing. I have been clean from that for 6 years now but im not free from the reason i took it in the first place. Id take anything try anything that anyone would tell me would make me feel better for just an hour or two. Ive suffered from severe depression for years and years. It did help for a while untill everything that comes with drugs crept in. after giving up speed i also gave up smoking and i dont drink alcohol (deffinately a lucky thing that) but technically im still not clean as im using prescription painkillers.( Car accident ) which are legitimately prescribed to me by my own doc for my leg but i know i dont always need them when i take them ...self medicating doesnt work in the long run it only makes it worse but anyone in this situation will tell you that small peice of relief the tiny glimmer of happiness you get from it its its own payoff at the time its sheer desperation and im very very far from proud about it ...

    so ill finish how i started

    hi my name is shadow and im an addict
  2. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey shadow girl - like you I had a real penchant for speed - enjoyed that crazy, drink all night, intensity of speed - plus the boost of confidence it gave you.

    For depression, speed is like how anti depressants should be - I mean, take one and half an hour later your whistling, washing your hair for the night out. Being serious though - maybe that level of instant change is bad for you. I worked it out for myself that speed, like anything else, has its limits. Too much of it and you feel like a new born kitten once you wake up from the epic sessions. In the end it works against you and leaves you struggling to function in a social setting. I was lucky that I only really used it for the night life - and only used once in work. Felt bare without the alcohol and social setting of a pub. I did know people who would work 2 days solid and obviously students who used it to cram in epic study sessions. Shame really, I used enough to maybe get a bag full of Phd's and Diplomas! Wasted it on, well, you can imagine really.

    I've been clean of speed for way over 15 years. Like you I don't really drink alcohol but I do smoke.

    Also I get prescribed pain killers - and maybe I'll use them even if all is well sometimes. We can't all be perfect. Either way I don't use more than I'm prescribed so all is well.

    Other addictions, er, I'll wait till the specific meeting or something.

    But all said and done, some medications can really help you out. I tend not to judge too much unless the addiction brings you crashing through my window intent on stealing my laptop or something!

    Good luck, thanks for sharing.

    you got to admit - as bad as being 'sober' (ish) feels, it is WAY better than having the speed hangover which last 1 day in your teens, two in your twenties, three in your thirties and pretty much the whole week in the forties!

    Speed takes you as low as it does take you high. I finally gave up in my late twenties, and it took me months to flush that crap out of my system.

    Still get the odd urge to indulge. Everyone does coke now but most people in the UK buying coke might as well just snort some teething powder and drink 5 cups of strong coffee and set fire to maybe £40.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Ah speed!
    Made me thin and a party animal. LOVED IT!
    Ruined my teeth and made me paranoid. HATED IT!

    We all do stuff we regret, you have done really well.
    6 years clean and you stopped smoking :eek:hmy: something I just can't seem to do.
    So the addict name doesn't fit you anymore, in fact, any cleaner and you would be joining the sally army :laugh:
    Welcome to the forum, hope to see you around :smile:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi shadowgirl you have fought back so hard and beat some terrible addictions
    I hope you are careful with these pain meds okay try not to abuse them if you can. It is good to have you here hugs
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.