The wine is my lord and master

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by SadDude1980, Feb 11, 2008.

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  1. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    Chardonnay, specifically.

    CVS, it's about a 2 mile walk there and back.

    That's how it is an Alexandria, VA from where I live.

    No secrets here, why should there be? Lies are what break us. My wife lied to me for 4 years and now she's tired of me and hit the road!

    So it's just me and my good buddy, Chardonnay.

    My body aches. My kidneys hurt, my stomach is totally "nourished" off alcohol at this point and I think i'm on my way out of this life, this "online rpg". Time to log out for good. I can't stop drinking now that she's gone. I don't want to stop. I WANT to be gone, to not exist anymore.

    Today I'm gonna sell my xbox 360 which has helped me to watch many a movie - in order to have some money to buy cheap wine till my paycheck from last week comes in

    If you wanna do me a favor, you can listen to my first and most likely LAST online posted song.

    I'm outtie. I drink for a couple hours then I pass out, repeat repeat repeat. My wife hates me, she used to adore me, but now I'm dogshit, etc etc. I wish I were superman right now, I'd just fly over the city with an mp3 player and have me a good time flying and looking down at a quaint city view. :(
  2. KSJ - that was SOooooooooooo beautiful!!!! Anyone ever tell you that you sound like SEAL ("Kissed by a Rose on the Grave")

    (I welcome you here, though it's truly a very 'bittersweet' thing...)

    I'm so very, very sorry that poignant song was a precursor to the love of your life leaving you! That's devastating - your pain is SO real, I know - so fresh and insurmountable. I dearly wish there were some words to ease it, but I know better. I know it may also seem utterly futile, but won't you share more, post more about it? At least it would be an outlet (which everyone needs - most especially in such times).

  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hi, and I decided to officially welcome you to the forum. I hope you find the support that you so need. I am sorry to hear of what has happened. I hope things brighten up for you soon. I too listened to your song, and as I told you, it was lovely and made me tear up. Take care. :hug:
  4. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum sir
  5. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    I listened to your song as well and I thought it was excellent.

    Alcohol is a depressant and it just make people not be able to think straight and do stupid things. It might block out the pain for a while but it will only make you feel worse in the long term. Try to find another method to cope without turning to alcohol for comfort.

    Have you been to the doctor to see if you can get some medication for the way you're feeling, it would be a better option than consuming alcohol to forget. Try to talk to somebody about the way you're feeling.

    Hope everything works out for you, don't choose suicide, you can get through this if you just hold on.

    Take care
  6. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    It was good to listen to your lovely song which obviously is very deep and meaningful to you. You asked for prayers and I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you, I pray our Lord God will be with at these times of turmoil. x
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :welcome:
  8. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Welcome!!! :hug:
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. I hope you are able to find the support you need to continue the fight for existance. As was mentioned above, alcohol does not alleviate the problems, it only makes them worse. It depresses you further and makes it increasingly more difficult to see your way through things. Please try to find a better type of distraction. :hug:
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    hey welcome to the forum :welcome:
  11. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Very true with alcohol dependency. It might help 'numb' the pain (as it were) initially (like anti-depressents). Alcohol has been known to 'prevent' suicide in some people (get drunk, blot it out, fall asleep) but untimately, dependency can lead to depression when people don't know when to stop and do not get therapy for the root cause of the drinking. Coming off of alcohol can also be 'life threatening' if you are not getting help for it.

    The wine is my lord and master
    KenSotoJr, may I ask how long drinking has been controlling you? Have you been in any sort of therapy before? Rehab? I realise at the moment you may feel disalutioned with life that you do not wish to stop drinking, but have you thought about the prospect of therapy / counselling to talk through your feelings and give you some hope?
  12. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum :hug:
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