...the world ends not with a bang but a whimper

Discussion in 'Midnight Owl' started by Comrade Napoleon, May 11, 2012.

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  1. Comrade Napoleon

    Comrade Napoleon Well-Known Member


    “…the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper.” T.S. Elliot

    Last night I dreamed I was murdered brutally and I was helpless to prevent it. I am the type of person who battles constantly over my suicidal demons but never has the thought of being murder occurred to me. This dream revealed one of my biggest fears: Losing control to someone.

    My Nightmare:

    I am in the restroom and casually washing my hands oblivious to my surroundings. Then a man with bushy eye brows and eyes cold and pale as ice enters the restroom. I think nothing of him and I don’t even acknowledge his presence with nod. Then all the sudden I feel a sharp feeling of cold steel behind my back. I panic, feeling helpless. I turned I see the man with cold eyes has a long 9 inch blade lounged behind my back.

    The man yells viciously, “Give me your wallet or I will kill you!!”

    I do not have more than $20 in my wallet, but I do not hesitant. I immediately hand the man my wallet. Then the man gives me a crooked smile and says, “Thanks buddy”. Just when I thought he was going to leave, he immediate slashes my throat then as silently the man entered the bathroom he leaves me at the restroom dying. I can feel the massive flood of blood drip down my body. I start going pale, choking on the taste of blood. Afterwards, I drop to my knees and then collapse to the floor.

    In a couple of seconds, I accept my fate. I am going to die. All my romanticized visions of death like birds singing and my herald of angels were non-existent. My death was terrifying. I just lay on the floor of the dirty bathroom in a pool of my own blood. I only see still image of bathroom sinks and toilets. Then I hear a static sound like the sound of empty television channel. Then I hear a loud ringing and my vision goes bright, then darkness… absolute cold darkness. My world ended with me. I die alone, loveless, and a tears of blood.
  2. Prox

    Prox Active Member

    Your dream seems like a signal that you do have something to live for, and suicide just doesn't make sense for you. You might be confused, you might be still searching for a foothold on life, but there is one.

    I believe in you. You'll be able to push through this. You got a whiff of what might be lost in your death and at least saw that it was something.
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