The World Is A Horrible Place

[whatisthepoint]

I'm fed up of feeling like this - I'm not even sure I'm depressed because I don't feel it for most of the day, every day - but when it does hit me I just don't want to be alive. I know the first thing most people would say is "have you tried to get help?". I almost feel like laughing at this kind of question- I have only become depressed since working in a mental health team. That's how bad the world is: doing a job that is supposed to help others enjoy their lives more actually ended up making me want to end mine. I know all the ins and outs of the services on offer ...I help provide them. I don't think I'm depressed, I'm just more realistic than most of the population. I feel like one day everyone will wake up and realise that, actually, there is no point to life. We just work 9-5 5 or 6 days a week, to get money to pay for things, to work more, to get more things, it's all painful and pointless. Yes, I have days that I enjoy and have fun and feel alive. But are those days worth it for the lows? Of course not.

 

[Freya]

I am sure that you know from your job that one of the most common things a depressed person will tell you is that they are not depressed, just realistic. I know it is a line I stuck to for a long time. I also suspect that working in a mental health team makes it harder to ask for help - 'doctor heal thyself' or something along those lines. I won't quote stats at you, as I am sure you are aware of them, but it is worth considering that the lows might be mitigated by treatment and if the alternative is so miserable you want to die, there isn't a great deal to lose.

If you believe that your job is the root of the problem, then look at alternatives. The key thing to remember that if you change nothing, nothing changes. That change very rarely happens by itself - it involves forcing yourself to do something to galvanise it.

Take care :hug:

 

[total eclipse]

Itoo work in the health field so it is hard to ask for help i get that but if you do not reach out now the days you get sad will increase and the fun days will decrease. It is better to reach out now while you can make healthy decisions for yourself

 

[whatisthepoint]

I've just contacted the counselling service and booked a "therapeutic consultation" (whatever that means haha). I'm very cyncial but I suppose at least I can say I tried it.