I'm fed up of feeling like this - I'm not even sure I'm depressed because I don't feel it for most of the day, every day - but when it does hit me I just don't want to be alive. I know the first thing most people would say is "have you tried to get help?". I almost feel like laughing at this kind of question- I have only become depressed since working in a mental health team. That's how bad the world is: doing a job that is supposed to help others enjoy their lives more actually ended up making me want to end mine. I know all the ins and outs of the services on offer ...I help provide them. I don't think I'm depressed, I'm just more realistic than most of the population. I feel like one day everyone will wake up and realise that, actually, there is no point to life. We just work 9-5 5 or 6 days a week, to get money to pay for things, to work more, to get more things, it's all painful and pointless. Yes, I have days that I enjoy and have fun and feel alive. But are those days worth it for the lows? Of course not.