so i just graduated high school and i don't know what to do now. i started having suicidal thoughts when my grandmother died 5 years ago. she was like my best friend. when i cam to high school i didn't want anything to do with anyone so i just stayed in the background. until i met this guy. he was sweet, amazing, funny, cute, smart, caring, and everything that i wanted in a guy except there was one problem i didn't think he would come anywhere near me. well to ym surprise he did and he did a lot more then that. he brought me out of my shell he made me want to live. which was a weird feeling for me because i haven't felt like that in a long long long time. we started dating. he made me the happiest person alive. then we broke up. my world came crashing down when he told me he didn't want to be with my anymore but something really weird happened. he still wanted to talk to me. we actually became best friends. i made him my everything. he is the only thing i know in life. he is my security blanket. and i did the one thing i told myself i would never do...i fell in love with him. i fell so in love with him that i dug myself so deep i can't get out. and now we are going off to college. hes leaving for arizona and i am stuck here. he keeps telling me that everything is going to be okay and that everything is going to stay the same. he told me that he still loves me and the only reason we broke up was because he didnt want to be tied down. i don't know if i really believe him but i think h was telling the truth. but now i don't. tonight he told me that he thinks he is falling in love with his ex girlfriend. i don't get it. it was supposed to be the two of us, me and him, together. i just don't get it. why now why on top of everything that is happening this has to happen. i mean im leaving for college in 2 months. im leaving everything i know. i feel like the world is crashing in on me and its caving in and its about to crush me. i can't deal with this anymore. i can't do it i just want to end it all.