We have always had and loved dogs in our family. A few times in my life we have had an old dog that got to the point that the Veterinarian said the only humane thing to do was euthanize the dog. What kind of selfish monster of a person would keep the dog alive, suffering, just to avoid the personal pain and grief of the dogs passing?
I am 39 and have been very unhappy my whole life. I have been seeking help from mental health pros since age 6, when I first tried to kill myself by jumping off a building. Now, after a lifetime of different meds, counseling, and inpatient and outpatient treatment, it is clear that my suffering will never end.
Depression and suicide run in my family. I am a successful engineer with genius level IQ. I am not smart enough to figure out how to enjoy life, how to feel like I am living my life and not disconnected from reality. Sitting on a beach or locked up in a psych ward- and all things in between, feel the same. I am not experiencing anything, I am just aware of outside stimuli and how I am supposed to respond to it.
What kind of selfish monsters would advise me to stay alive, knowing I have always been and always be suffering and miserable? Have I not earned the same respect as the family dog?
Why is it ok for me to suffer just so my family does not have the burden of dealing with the fact that my suicide is an act of mercy?
There is no cure for me, I have been trying for over 30 years. There is no help. If I go check back into Aurora (or anywhere else) I will get the standard “stabilize and release”.
Try a different mental health pro? Yes- try to find one that takes your insurance, is seeing new patients, and does not have a 3-5 week wait for an open day. Then you may get one or two hours a week of care. It will take months for the therapist to get to understand me- oh and if I tell him/her of my impending suicide than I am back to the “strip search, lock up, stabilize and release” plan.
There is no real help for me out there. I looked, I tried.
This has been a lifelong problem and it deserves a permanent solution. I deserve the same mercy as the family dog.
The point of my writing this letter is to help those of you that are selfish monsters that are more concerned about how my death will impact others than my misery and think that the honorable thing for me to do is to stay alive in my personal pit of anguish simply for the convenience of others who care about me.
No thank you. My suffering is very real, and I deserve better.
I know that when I die I will be forgiven, God is merciful and loves me.
-Steve in AZ
I am 39 and have been very unhappy my whole life. I have been seeking help from mental health pros since age 6, when I first tried to kill myself by jumping off a building. Now, after a lifetime of different meds, counseling, and inpatient and outpatient treatment, it is clear that my suffering will never end.
Depression and suicide run in my family. I am a successful engineer with genius level IQ. I am not smart enough to figure out how to enjoy life, how to feel like I am living my life and not disconnected from reality. Sitting on a beach or locked up in a psych ward- and all things in between, feel the same. I am not experiencing anything, I am just aware of outside stimuli and how I am supposed to respond to it.
What kind of selfish monsters would advise me to stay alive, knowing I have always been and always be suffering and miserable? Have I not earned the same respect as the family dog?
Why is it ok for me to suffer just so my family does not have the burden of dealing with the fact that my suicide is an act of mercy?
There is no cure for me, I have been trying for over 30 years. There is no help. If I go check back into Aurora (or anywhere else) I will get the standard “stabilize and release”.
Try a different mental health pro? Yes- try to find one that takes your insurance, is seeing new patients, and does not have a 3-5 week wait for an open day. Then you may get one or two hours a week of care. It will take months for the therapist to get to understand me- oh and if I tell him/her of my impending suicide than I am back to the “strip search, lock up, stabilize and release” plan.
There is no real help for me out there. I looked, I tried.
This has been a lifelong problem and it deserves a permanent solution. I deserve the same mercy as the family dog.
The point of my writing this letter is to help those of you that are selfish monsters that are more concerned about how my death will impact others than my misery and think that the honorable thing for me to do is to stay alive in my personal pit of anguish simply for the convenience of others who care about me.
No thank you. My suffering is very real, and I deserve better.
I know that when I die I will be forgiven, God is merciful and loves me.
-Steve in AZ
