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The worst idea ever.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Cooki, May 16, 2014.

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  1. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    I tried killing myself yesterday evening. I was sure that I would just fall asleep and never wake up again. I was so dumb. Three hours later, midnight, I woke up and had to throw up, and since that I didn't do anything else than that for almost 12 hours....... At 2:30am I went to my parents' bedroom downstairs and woke my dad up to let him drive me to the hospital. I ended up telling him what I had done and wanted him to bring me to the hospital, but he just didn't, because he thinks that if anyone finds out that I tried to kill myself, that I'll end up in a psychiatry. So I lied there, next to my dad, frequently running to the bathroom because I had to throw up. I didn't go to school today because I simply couldn't. My classmates will kill me on monday, because we had a chemistry classtest today and they probably also had a history test. I will probably need all the weekend to recover. My boyfriend is shocked, and he says I should have someone test my blood. I can't hear much anymore, my mum said it might stay like that. But at least I hear something, so even if it stays like that, there will be the possibility to help me by giving me hearing aid. I feel better now, it's only my hearing and I still have a little urge to throw up, but not much anymore.
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You really ought to go to the hospital because there is a chance you could have organ damage following an overdose. Your dad is irresponsible if he will not take you to the hospital. You should call an ambulance and get yourself checked out.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Ya you dad is to be there for you and get you the care that is need to help you live. You go back to hospital NOW there is no excuse for lying ok if you want to get better tell t hem what you did and get iv fluids to get drug out of your organs
  4. WOF42

    WOF42 Member

    You need to go to hospital immediately, I am a biomedical scientist overdoses don't kill quickly, it is entirely possible that you could have damaged your liver if you get treatment now you may be able to recover completely, but if you don't things could get a lot worse as the damage could become irreparable, please call an ambulance.
  5. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    If you have taken an overdose of any medication it can take a while before you notice any effects. Cooki you need to seek help. I am a bit shocked at your parents for not taking it out of your hands and demanding you go to hospital and speak to someone.
  6. DirtyWater

    DirtyWater Member

    You don't need to be a biomedical scientist to know that your dad is an a** for making you lie and not taking you to the hospital.

    please do not listen to what your dad says and then go to the hospital and tell them everything. How old are you?
  7. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    It was awful. I had my boyfriend's mum take me to the hospital on friday, just a few minutes after I posted here. I had to call my parents to come to the hospital and sign some stuff so that the people at the hospital could "help" me (otherwise they would have refused to do the medical treatment because that would be against some laws around here because I'm under 18). So my parents had to come anyway. In hospital, they just took my blood for some tests and found out that everything is okay. But they just didn't let me go home. On monday, they had me talk to a psychologist, she just said it was good that I attempted suicide and that I should see a therapist like once a month or so. My only problem was that I couldn't hear, and the doctor said that goes away by itself, but in the end it was that guy's fault that they didn't let me go home for almost a week. It was totally unneccessary to go to the hospital, I was told.
  8. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    My ex says that they usually keep people who attempted suicide for at least two weeks in a psychiatry. I told him that's just because they WILL try that again, I know his friends, they are all a bit insane. I would never ever try that again, I mean, if I feel like going to hospital because of that, it must be awful enough to avoid that in the future.
  9. Bio

    Bio Member

    I know this is old thread, and because of that (other members already have helped you in that situation)...
    So for now, please Cooki never try to do that again, I have treats in my eyes...
    Read other depressions in this forum or somewhere else, there are too much people who have worst life ever.
    Please hold on... you are strong, you will be happy, trust me.

    My best wishes for you,
  10. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    Don't worry Bio, I won't do that again. I've changed my attitude towards my classmates from "I know you hate me but in case I ever need you I'll just be nice anyway" to "go f*** yourselves". That really helps oO that's what the psychologist at the hospital told me to do. I hate myself for that, but okay....
  11. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Cooki, sorry to hear that you are not in a nice state. Just take care, do not let the bullies win. You have guts in that you are posting your story here. In life, you come across people who are harsh and kind but it comes to a point where you use your own judgement to see who can trust. You are young but like others, you are still learning about people everyday.
    Depression is hard at any age, but I do think you can come through it. Depression is not cured overnight but it's a simple case of taking each day as it comes. I hope this helps you.
  12. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    At the moment I don't actually think I'm depressed anymore :D I'm too happy and I feel like doing something, I just started knitting a plushie and that's good since it will take a while until I'm done with that (not to forget about all the schoolwork I have to do '^^).
  13. Taanya

    Taanya Member

    Hi there! Glad to hear you're alive and feeling better! I thought it was funny when I read about your knitting, I used to do that too, after my suicide attempt. A friend I met in the ER at the hospital recommended it to me and it really helped for a while.
    But back to you. I know you're young, I can relate to that, but I think that to get better in the long run you need to figure some things out. Like about your classmates, because I saw you mentioned them in your post. I know how messed up one feels after attempting suicide, but the fact that YOU almost died but survived is the most important thing right now. You need to concentrate on yourself, your well-being. Forget the rest, except for your family who is there for you no matter what(although it was very wrong of your dad to not take you to the hospital like he did, but it's possible he panicked and didn't know how to solve your situation, my parents don't know either sometimes but I always forgive them).
    The point I'm trying to make is that these people are only temporarily in your life. You'll probably never see them again after you graduate from high school and that's probably for the best. They should not matter to you at all. I know your social life seems like the most important thing in the world when you're a teenager, but it's not. YOU are the most important thing in the world to you. And the most important thing is to make peace with yourself. It doesn't matter what others say or think. Your mental health is what you need to take care of right now, and the rest can be forgotten for the moment. Discover the joys in life that are independent of other people and nobody will ever be able to hurt you again, I speak from experience. My friends all turned their back on me when I was depressed and I'm doing fine without them. Realizing they weren't true friends is something I'm actually grateful for. Seriously.
    Keep up the good work with your knitting!
  14. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    My parents are the main problem. It's not that they don't understand, they don't even listen to me. They never had time, all they ever did to keep me "happy" was buying me stuff if I wanted them to. I don't say that I'm a spoiled kid of rich parents, but this is all they ever did for me. On the other side, they always tell me what I shall do, and yell at me for not doing something they didn't even tell me to do once. But my parents think they're the best parents one could have and they always pointed out how bad our friends' parents are. But the other parents were always there if they needed them, they listened, they even listened to me... My parents just never listened...... And at the moment it's not about me to forgive them but about them to forgive me........
    I'm a bit ahead of everyone else my age, I'm constantly told so by people that got to know me better and didn't believe me when I told them I'm 14. People always think I'm about 17 or 18 or even older, just from my appearance (behavior, knowledge, the way I look). I don't act like a teenager actually, and I guess I don't think like one typical teeny would do. I would only focus on getting good results at school if I had no boyfriend. But I have too many fears, I'm afraid of loosing someone dear, like my boyfriend or my brother. I'm afraid of being alone, afraid of my own shadow sometimes. I freak out if I go into my room when I can't see enough to make out a person that might be in there. A bit paranoid, I guess that started when my mum told me that a woman was shot about 50 years ago just in front of the door. I'm still not sure if my mum was joking...
  15. Taanya

    Taanya Member

    Ok sorry to hear about your parents being the main problem. But if they are, they should know they have to change their behaviour for you. And you have to be the one who tells them. My ex therapist always told me that to get accustomed to the idea of living I had to make changes to my living environment, starting with my parents. He advised me to tell them whenever they did something that bothered me without being afraid to show vulnerability. Something like "Mom, dad, I'm depressed and your attitude doesn't help me. I want to get better and I need you for that. Stop yelling at me, start treating me like an equal and we can work together so I can keep on fighting my depression and living, if not a happy, at least a tolerable life. Maybe they listened to me more than your parents listen to you because I'm older, but seeing as you're mature for your age they should start treating you better. It would have been such a pity if you killed yourself! You need all the support you can get. Don't be afraid to ask for it.

    If you need someone to talk to feel free to also PM me.

    Take care of yourself and try to smile. Chin up!
  16. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    I told my parents so often, I only left out that I'm depressed, since my parents don't think that something like that actually exists. So I told them that their behaviour makes me feel bad and angry and missunderstood. My parents should know that I'm more grown up than the other kids my age, I mean, it's not even common that 14-year-olds actually think about their future and in what way their actions have an effect for the future, right?
  17. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    more common than you think.

    anyway in your other thread you say your dad went to the app?
    the psych said go and see a therapist? what do your folks say about that since they don't really believe in mental illnesses and depression?
  18. BernardFoster

    BernardFoster Active Member

    i tried drinking a bunch of <Mod edit: Methods> and end up restless for 2 days.. i thought they will kill me.. i feel you ..
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 4, 2014
  19. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    The psych said I should look for a therapist since she would rather send me to some "project" where I would have to go to a psychiatry every day from 8am to 4 pm for about 4 to 6 months. So I wouldn't be able to go to school, and since 4 months or even 6 months make up too many days missing, I would have to make that year twice because the teachers wouldn't let me just go on. So I said that I don't want that, so she said I have to look for a therapist then.
    My mum said it's bulls***. But she always agrees with what my dad said, and my dad says that we should try that, because maybe it would have helped his mother (she committed suicide when he was just 9; back then there was no thing such as psychologists or psychotherapists). So my mum now says okay we'll try that. Although she would really like to send me to one of my teachers who is actually a psychologist/psychotherapist. But I don't like that guy at all.
  20. Bio

    Bio Member

    Trust me, it common more than you think.
    Even worse, some don't get stuff what they want, plus don't get the care they need.
    You only need to try to change their behavio.

    And yeah, glad to hear that you feel happy! I feel happy for you :)
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