The worst part is...

[twilight]

hearing everyone laugh and have fun. Why did I decide to live in a dorm?? This was such a bad idea! I know that it sounds bad to say that it hurts to hear other people have fun. I really do want them to be happy, I just don't want to hear it. It just reminds me that I might never be that happy. :sad: This is really bothering me tonight. I know I sound like a horrible person that wants everyone around her to be depressed too. That is not the case. I just hope they leave and I hope no one comes looking for my roommate. No one ever comes to see me. I don't expect them to because I am still struggling through SA which makes it hard to have friends.

I thought that living in a dorm would make it easier to make friends. Somehow, I could be more comfortable with these people since I live with them. I was defineatly wrong. :sad:

 

[TLA]

maybe not wrong totally. You might not have broken out of your shell yet. I felt like that in the dorm. Ask your roomie if you can join her some night.

 

[twilight]

I didn't really mean that. I just feel so screwed up lately.... I just want to give up. I can't be the fun, good person that my roommate deserves. It seems like everyone is against me. I know they're not but everything just feels wrong somehow.

 

[amee]

Hmm. It's like lemon juice in a wound. You want people to understand, identify with you, and it's like they're on the reflective side of a one-way mirror. You can watch them and want to break through, but they don't even know you're stuck.

That doesn't make you horrible. You're not obligated to reflect their happiness back at them, any more than they're really obligated to reflect your depression.

To get there, tho, you've only got a few options. One is that you learn the way around the mirror yourself. Another is that you find a way to get a message to them, that you want to join in, and you're stuck. Either do require effort; I doubt anybody can save you if you go totally limp.

I won't assume that these are the only possibilities, but they're the main ones that come to my mind ...

--A

 

[smellsliketeenspirit]

i know just what you mean..it feels like ive missed something..now i know u probably are a bit older than me but i know just what you mean....sorry i dont have any advice i can give u....:sad: :sad: