The Worst Situation Ever

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lost_and_confused20, Nov 28, 2011.

  1. Ok, let me 1st use a few names for characters in this situation.
    Amy-The main girl I liked
    Debbie-A mutual aqquantance of ours
    Becky-Another girl in the class.

    My mother in a way forced me to move down with her, I had no choice because it was in the time of the economy crisis and I could not find a job. She thought that southern people would be nicer, but she was wrong. Anyways I was very upset, there are not many colleges here and the 1 university would not accept me until I went to a technical college because my high school did not give me SATs. Anyways, the college is small with no lunchroom or anything so there were maybe only 4 girls I had my eye on in my classes. 1 turned out to be taken, the other 2 I didn't like so much.

    So we have Amy. Amy is very vulgar, long story short, Debbie talked to Amy for me because I sent Amy some messages by facebook but she did not get them. Debbie gave Amy my number even though I did not want this, I just wanted to know if she got my messages. Amy decides to just be friends with me, which I am fully against but I don't know anyone down south so I figure why not. I decided to drop out of my classes cause I was doing bad at the time. We text every now and then, we joke around, we make eachother laugh. But she would open up about stuff every now and then, like how she is unhappy with her life, and how her mother forces her to dance, because her mother owns some kind of dance school business. I try to encourage her, the next time we talk she is upset and calls me weak and says I have no backbone and calls me "fucking weird". We argue on the phone because I could not believe it, she just flipped. She said she didn't need my help, I guess she thought I was trying to be self righteous, All I did was try to encourage her as a friend and return the kindness she showed me, I told her things like I was sure she could make it in life and I'd be there to talk if she needed me to be. But I specifically said only if she wanted to, and I also said I was not always right. Anyways she just keeps on insulting me. Then she says she was abused. I guess her family treats her mean and she was not used to my kindness and said I was too nice. But there was nothing but insults so I hung up. She sent an insulting text, I guess she was upset I hung up. Then I asked her not to contact me again, another insulting text. I was devastated and cried like I never did before, never have I had someone insult me like this, and she showed no signs she was like this. And I thought I really liked her, didn't even care if she felt the same, I was just fine with being friends. She also said she was just friends with me out of pity, when I specifically told her I was not interested in being friends long before that and tried to cut her off many times before, so she had ample chances to escape whatever guilt or obligation she thought she had to be my friend. I'm wondering if maybe she is either bi polar or has borderline personality disorder, maybe from whatever abuse she had, I did not ask.

    So now I am kind of lost. Sometimes I cry, stare out in space. I mean I liked this girl, she must not be used to that because she would always say she had no clue why I liked her and thought it was weird I did, I thought we got along well, and I was planning to ask her to go christmas shopping before all of this, but I had no clue she was like this. I have a job that pays next to nothing, in retail, it sucks. I can't move or go on a vacation, wish I could though. I'm 20, I have no car yet and my only other options of meeting someone is online dating, which i'm not a fan of, or approaching girls at the mall which i'm also not a fan of. I did stuff like that long ago, didn't really work out. Southern girls mostly like hunter guys. There really aren't any clubs or anything like back up north. We live in a touristy county with nothing but resturaunts, and my mother and I live in a place cut off from all of that. So I'm screwed down here. Now, I do have an idea, there is a girl named Becky who was also in my former class with Amy. She sits right next to Debbie(the girl who talked to Amy for me). This might be my last shot and moving on from Amy because I still have feelings for her and I want them gone. I don't want her to be the last girl I like, if this is it for a while. The last day of classes is in 2 days, i'm working later on that day so I'll have to stop in, talk to Debbie before classes start and ask her to give Becky my number. But i'm scared, what if Amy was gossiping to the others about me. What if Debbie won't help me because of that. I'm just lost on what to do, and this is all I got. I really don't want to be heartbroken like this, it's not fun at all. And Becky is really quiet like me, and pretty cool. She is very pretty and is most likely out of my league, but it just feels good to do something so all hope is not lost. But what do you guys think about my plan. (I would talk to Becky myself but she usually gets into class late, and I can't stay for long because of work, besides Amy would be there and would proabably think I was there to talk to her, or she would sabatoge me).
     
  2. LunaLovegood108

    LunaLovegood108 New Member

    From what you posted and said about Amie, I'm willing to bet that she is a borderline. You should read up on how to deal with and understand people with borderline personality disorder. This might help you re-establish a friendship with her, if that's what you want. If you don't want to be friends with her anymore, mabee reading about borderlines can make it easier to understand why she acted the way she did.
    I realise it's hard, but you shouldn't take anything that she said personally. Borderlines tend to repress anger and annoyance, and then take it out on the people they are close to. They also tend to do things to push you away and hurt you, just to see if you care for them enough to come back to them. I, personally, think it would be a good idea to give your friendship another go, for her sake.
    One more thing: if you talk to her again, don't ever tell her that she has borderline personality disorder. It wouldn't go over well.

    Best of luck.
     
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    It sounds as if Amy is really insecure within herself but that does not excuse her from mistreating you. I think the best thing to do is follow your heart, if you are willing to forgive and forget, then do it.
     
  4. I see, thanks for the advice. I really do want to talk to her again, i'm just not sure if I can handle all of that.