The worst thing *****TRIGGER*****

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Malcontent, Mar 23, 2007.

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  1. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    The worst thing about abuse or rape, is that no matter how disgusted your mind is when it's happening, your body can't help but respond. Which leads to the guilt, "I enjoyed it, it must be my fault"

    :bash: :cry:
     
  2. deep

    deep Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel I was raped but I know that just because my body was there it was not my fault and it has took me a while to know that wat they done was not my fault our yours. There a cruel and sick people we are just the innocent ones who have to live with it. :hug: :grouphug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2007
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's a natural reaction. You know deep down you didn't enjoy it, and you also know that abuse is not the fault of the victim.

    Remember that the body is not understanding the emotional/mental aspect of abuse, just what is happening to it. The mind is far more in depth and understanding the full lot. It's a reflex. This is a very tenuous link, but it will hopefully explain what I am trying to say, Think if you see a shit of a doctor and he tests your reflexs in your knees, and you kick him by accident. You might enjoy it (I know this is the mental emotion as opposed to a physical reaction, this is why I said it was a tenuous comparison), but it was not your fault.

    Ok, so I have waffled rather badly for a while, sorry. But yeh, maybe you will get what I mean.

    Hope thigns start to improve.

    Take care
     
  4. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Will the shame ever go away? :badday:
     
  5. deep

    deep Well-Known Member

    The same doesnt leave you completely but it gets easier I was I could take away you pain cos I know how it feels and it is so hard but stay strong and I am here if you need to talk always.

    :smile: :rose:
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    The shame can go away, but only once you have accepted that it was not your fault, and probably had some sort of therapy that would allow this to not hurt you anymore.
     
  7. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    This happened over 15 years ago and I'm still effected by it. I feel like I should be over it by now.... I'm in thearpy at the moment. Sorry, I'm just letting stuff out right now.
     
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Don't apologise, it's good to let things out.

    I am so glad you are in therapy, hopefully that should help you. There is no timeset to get over such a trauma, but you are doing all the right things. Try not to give yourself too harder time over it.

    Take care of yourself
     
  9. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest


    It happened to me 7 years ago and I am also in therapy and on meds. I also have yet to let go of feeling it was my fault. The "what if I wasn't there that night", "did I try and fight hard enough or not". Those types of questions produce such guilt that shame naturally follows suit. I am told that I should not try to get over it but rather to find a way to live with it. Many events in our lives will never be forgotten, bad or good. But how we learn to deal with them can change in time. How much time is individual and you should never compare yourself to anyone else in the same position. Good luck.
     
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think that's what I meant when I said

    'There is no timeset to get over such a trauma'

    I didn't mean 'get over it' in a sense as in to brush it off, I meant in a way that allows you to live with what happened in such a way that it does not hurt you anymore.

    Hope that makes sense
     
  11. Just_visiting

    Just_visiting Well-Known Member

    Just wanted to say that i agree wid the first post, the whole "i enjoyed it so it was my fault" thing. Unfortunately, no matter how disgusted we are with wat is happening, our bodies betray us. It doesnt make it your fault tho, or so i try to tell myself. The point isnt how our bodies responded, how hard we fought, how loud we screamed, the point that makes it so wrong is that it was happening in the first place. If it hadnt been happening in the first place our bodies wouldn't have anything to respond to, we wouldnt have to fight, we wouldnt have to scream. It wasnt our fault it was happenin in the first place, so it is not our fault.
    I dont know if that makes sense, but its how i try to rationalise it.
    Take care
    L1
     
  12. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

  13. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    I can't imagine what that feels like, I really have no idea. I am sorry it happened to you. :hug: if okay.
     
  14. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    it is the worst thing and it put me off of sex. Every time I was having it I felt like it happened again and I feel like an animal not being able to control my body :(
     
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