"You should kill yourself" someone said this to me today. i was so... shocked. this person didn't even know me, but he told me i should kill myself. i have contemplated suicide before, and that someone would want you to do something like that is appalling to me. i went home, and i cried, because this person, who has only seen me a few times, hates me enough to tell me to go kill myself. i am not going to do it, of course. i am not petty nor unstable enough to commit suicide over one comment. but the words still hurt. i still felt the pain. and what makes it worse, is that someone who i thought was my friend, laughed. he laughed at that horrible comment. I can't even begin to express the anger i feel right now. i have only felt this angry once before, whe na kid made a comment, saying my dad probably beat me(he was, at the time, part of the reason i was contemplating suicide in the first place) as if it were a joke. i didn't tell anyone because i thought they all must know, and think that it's funny. i felt the same way today. i thought, does he think it's funny that i have thought about killing myself? would he really laugh if i were to commit suicide? i felt like all the progress i had made with my therapist, how far i had come from the weak, scared little girl i had been with my father, was all meaningless. i felt as it i hadn't changed at all. i didn't feel like dying, but i felt like i wanted to be invisible, or so small that noone could see me cry. i can only think of one silver lining to this horrible pain in my chest. and that is that i learned that someone who i had thought was a friend, was not a true friend at all, because he laughed at something so terrible and hurtful. i hhave realised that trying to fit in with the"social rejects"(please do not take offense, it is just how my friends describe themselves) is not always easy, because many of them are hurt, and are looking to hurt others. i have met a lot of peopple like the boy who told me to kill myself, but so few of them ever said something so cruel. so i will get up tomorrow, and cease my association with those "friends" who have proven that they don't actually care about me as a friend, and i will continue to live my life, strong, moving forward, and with a kinder disposition from here on out, so as not to cause the kind of pain that this boy caused me.