the worst thought in the world

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    ...or at least to me it is.

    what a heartless person i am.

    seriously.

    and i hate these thoughts, HATE them.

    and the thought is this - i wish it were all over. i wish the cancer was done with and "it" was all over.

    im not sure i can do this.

    im not sure i can emotionally deal with the ups and downs as they continue to happen.

    im not sure i can watch it take her over, when that time comes.

    and at the same time, i dont want it all done, because then she is gone - forever.

    its a selfish, selfish thought. but sometimes i wish it were so.
     
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Here if you want to talk - I think I may understand where you're coming from...

    Chris
     
  3. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    how could one wish that on another? isnt it my selfish reasonings? how can that be right? morally right? i know its not.
     
  4. Useless2D

    Useless2D Member

    I'll make life easier for you right now.
    There really isn't a right or wrong, but rather a preference for those how are in control. Do you control your life? You do, now think of what I just said. You're in control of your life, YOU choose what is write and wrong for yourself and NOBODY and say other wise.
     
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    because you see her suffering, you are no way selfish, you do so much for others and forget about yourself.

    please take care of you to.
     
  6. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm really trying. Thanks
     
  7. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    your not being selfish by any means ive done that
    just wishing it was over so they were in a better place away from this earth where we kill each other with wars and words etc
    wishing they were in heaven without the pain
     
  8. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Idk. I just want out, the r'ship is not what it was. I take responsibility for that due to my current state.