The writing may be on the wall

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SilentLegend, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. SilentLegend

    SilentLegend Member

    One step closer to destruction.
    I just failed an assignment today, in a class that is make or break my whole career, and ultimately my life too.
    I keep getting closer and closer to the end of my rope.
    This has happened so many times before where I get off to a shaky start, and I believe that I would be able to turn things around and start
    acing everything in order to salvage my grade.
    Every time I failed, never was able to turn it around...a slow start in a class dooms me for failure.
    I am foolish to think that this time it will be any different...this may be it...the writing is on the wall.
    If I couldn't turn things around before, how the hell can I expect to do it now??

    The previous failures didn't doom me, but this time it would cost me everything.
    If I fail my life is over.
    I am in grad school and I have already spent way more time here than I should have (a year extra already).
    If I fail this class it will take more time and more money to graduate, I don't have either, I've never had a job before and I can't keep wasting time fighting this uphill battle, while my GPA keeps getting worse and worse.
    It's graduate this year or bust and that means I must pass every class from here on out.

    And if I can't even make it in school, then I am truly pitiful, forget making it in the real world.
    My future will be completely ruined, my career will be over.
    All that money time and energy wasted, and my parents will be so ashamed that they won't even stand the look of me anymore.
    And everyone will know that I am a pathetic worthless good for nothing waste of space.
    I will be a complete laughing stock, even my bullies from high school will have the final laugh.
    I will be a disgrace to humanity.

    I have to do something I've never done before, salvage a grade in a class where I started off failing.
    It may be only the first assignment but things don't look good already, I am starting to think the end is near...
    I start fantasizing about ending my life, knowing that that the end is only a couple of months away.
    I've never contemplated suicide seriously, but failing will be the last straw, I think it's going to get serious soon.
    Please don't let it happen...
    I need one more hail mary...
    One last shot.
    My last chance.
    This is my last opportunity.
    Must keep my glimmering hopes alive.