Then it all goes to pieces again

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by 1Lefty, Nov 8, 2011.

  1. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    In the middle of moving some of my stuff from storage (had to, sis' house sold so there's a deadline), working by myself, grieving my loving helpmate and wife.

    Stressing about saving money to buy a proper headstone for her (our) cemetary plot. It tears me up each time I go there to just see the temporary metal tab with her name and the dates. I feel like I'm not paying proper respect to my wife by providing her this final act.

    Yesterday in the process of moving, the truck starts running rough, take it in to the shop, call me in the evening - $400 or so. Got a call this morning, that didn't fix it, another $300 needed. Now we're almost at the value of the truck, still not guaranteed to fix, and will have to wipe out savings AND borrow from sis (the one who was so critical after my suicide attempt).

    My self esteem wasn't great to start with, but now I'm getting the depression and overload feelings. Emotional as hell missing my wife, at least she would have some supporting and encouraging words for me.

    And my grief counselor has me trying exercises out of "The Patient's Guide to Cognitive Therapy" which I really don't understand - maybe I will if I keep at it.

    And it's its a cool damp day, I'm unable to use the truck so no moving, and it all just seems so fucked up, and I'm missing my wife so damn much.

    Thanks for being here
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through, I lost my best friend last january to an overdose and I miss her everyday, thats why my name is inmemoryofyou.
    I think you should stick to the cognitive therapy, I've heard some great success stories about it and I know many people that it has helped, so give it a shot please. The grieving process is tough but it does get easier with time, I've lost a lot of people very close to me and I can tell you that all you can do is look to the future, none of us can change the past, just cherish the good memories you have of her. Much love, Inmemoryofyou.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun your wife is with you okay in your heart in your soul hun and she would not care what type of stone she had to commemorate her hun All she would want is for you to not worry is for you to take care of you hun Please know that I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you hun hugs